The best Chuck Norris jokes

Darth Vader wears a Chuck Norris mask for Halloween.
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In an official mandate, 'Walker, Texas Ranger' DVD discs have been ordered to replace the armor plating in all bulletproof vests.
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Hercules strangled two snakes in his crib when he was a baby. Chuck Norris strangled a grizzly bear moments after birth with his own umbilical cord.
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Chuck Norris once gave a man the Hiemlich Manuever. That man still holds the record for most bones broken.
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On a high school math test, Chuck Norris put down "Violence" as every one of the answers. He got an A+ on the test because Chuck Norris solves all his problems with Violence.
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When Chuck Norris first saw Dragon Ball Z he thought it was a series of easy workout videos.
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Chuck Norris doesn't use a fire extinguisher to put out fires... he just tells the fire to stop burning.
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The world did not have a tilt in its axis until Chuck Norris stubbed his toe on the North Pole.
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Chuck Norris can do a wheelie on a unicycle.
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Chuck Norris doesn't have an ESC key on his computer, no one ever escapes.
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