Chuck Norris doesn't use a fire extinguisher to put out fires... he just tells the fire to stop burning.
Lawsuit commercials for personal injury are quite common with things like accidents and medication; however they never mention Chuck Norris.
The list of names at the end of every Chuck Norris film is the list of people he's killed.
Chuck Norris once threw out the first pitch at a NASCAR race.
The world did not have a tilt in its axis until Chuck Norris stubbed his toe on the North Pole.
Chuck Norris made sick the healthy chocolate.
Chuck Norris doesn’t ride a horse, he uses his crotch to carry it.
Chuck Norris jumps on hand grenades to shave his chest hair.
Chuck Norris doesn't have a shadow. His shadow isn't stupid enough to follow him around.
Ozzy Osbourne once snorted a line of ants.
Chuck Norris once snorted a line of bricks.