The Holy Grail is in Chuck Norris's living room.
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Chuck Norris once separated his powers into five people, they are now called The Avengers.
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Chuck Norris can give you a wet willie with a dry finger.
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Chuck Norris can cut a saw with a wood board.
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Chuck Norris shaves with predator mandibles and uses alien blood for shaving cream.
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Q: Chuck Norris invented the internet?
A: Just so he had a place to store his porn.
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Chuck Norris can flush a port-a-potty.
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Chuck Norris uses a stunt double during crying scenes.
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The Sun is Chuck Norris' camp fire.
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When Chuck Norris goes to the DMV, they take a number.
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The only reason you woke up this morning is because Chuck Norris allowed you too.
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