The best Chuck Norris jokes

Chuck Norris was sitting around a campfire with two cowboys. The cowboys were competing to see which one is more hardcore. The first one says," Once, I was charged by an angry bull. I proceeded to jump on its back and kill it by gorging its eyes out." The second says, " Once I was swimming in a river, and an annocanda tried to strangle me. I ripped its head off with my teeth." Chuck norris just smiles and continues tending to the campfire with his penis.
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On Halloween, children give Chuck Norris candy.
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You can lead a horse to water, but Chuck Norris can make it drink.
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Chuck Norris only created Russians so he can use them to take over TGI Fridays.
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Chuck Norris always has s*x on the bottom. Because he never f*cks up.
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There are no races, only countries of people Chuck Norris has beaten to different shades of black and blue.
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In the beginning there was nothing...then Chuck Norris Roundhouse kicked that nothing in the face and said "Get a job". That is the story of the universe.
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Chuck Norris doesn't need twitter, he's already following you.
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Chuck Norris knows who let the dogs out.
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Chuck Norris once had to go to court...the judge got life in prison.
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