Chuck Norris was sitting around a campfire with two cowboys. The cowboys were competing to see which one is more hardcore. The first one says," Once, I was charged by an angry bull. I proceeded to jump on its back and kill it by gorging its eyes out." The second says, " Once I was swimming in a river, and an annocanda tried to strangle me. I ripped its head off with my teeth." Chuck norris just smiles and continues tending to the campfire with his penis.
On Halloween, children give Chuck Norris candy.
You can lead a horse to water, but Chuck Norris can make it drink.
Chuck Norris only created Russians so he can use them to take over TGI Fridays.
Chuck Norris always has s*x on the bottom. Because he never f*cks up.
There are no races, only countries of people Chuck Norris has beaten to different shades of black and blue.
In the beginning there was nothing...then Chuck Norris Roundhouse kicked that nothing in the face and said "Get a job". That is the story of the universe.
Chuck Norris doesn't need twitter, he's already following you.
Chuck Norris knows who let the dogs out.
Chuck Norris once had to go to court...the judge got life in prison.