Chuck Norris invented black. In fact, he invented the entire spectrum of visible light. Except pink. Tom Cruise invented pink.
Chuck Norris doesn't flirt all he says is NOW.
Chuck Norris can light ants on fire with a magnifying glass. At Night.
Chuck Norris doesn’t ride a horse, he uses his crotch to carry it.
When Chuck Norris works out at the gym, he doesn't sweat. The weights do.
Chuck Norris doesn't have a shadow. His shadow isn't stupid enough to follow him around.
Ozzy Osbourne once snorted a line of ants. Chuck Norris once snorted a line of bricks.
Chuck Norris caught a bullet with the same gun he fired it from.
In space Chuck Norris can hear your screams.
Chuck Norris is so strong, he can punch a hole through thin air.