Chuck Norris does not listen to lectures.
Lectures listen to Chuck Norris.
The reason Chuck Norris has never been a doctor on House is because, he would find the diagnosis in one second.
It'd always be Norris Anger Disease.
Not only CAN Chuck have his cake and eat it too, he WILL.
Lou Gehrig considered himself the luckiest man on the face of the Earth, no one knew that it was because he was soon getting away from Chuck Norris.
The reason Waldo hides is because he saw Chuck Norris looking for him.
Chuck Norris updates his DNA every 5 minutes.
Chuck Norris went around the world... by standing still.
Chuck Norris cleans his teeth with a dentists drill.
Kimbo Slice copied Chuck Norris' beard.
When confronted, Kimbo's beard simply fell off and spotaneously combusted.
He opens the door then turns the handle.