The best Chuck Norris jokes

If you weigh 78kg on earth you will weigh 13kg on the moon. If Chuck Norris weighs 78kg on earth, the moon weighs 13kg on Chuck Norris.
Vote: has 63.17 % from 17 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: Chuck Norris, science
Ed and Lorraine Warren have the doll Anabelle locked in a glass case in their basement, a priest comes there every week to whisper Chuck Norris's name in its ear. The doll locked itself in the case upon first hearing the name.
Vote: has 63.17 % from 17 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: Chuck Norris
If you stab Chuck Norris, your knife will bleed.
Vote: has 63.00 % from 24 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: Chuck Norris
Chuck Norris once roundhouse kicked someone so hard that his foot broke the speed of light, went back in time, and killed Amelia Earhart while she was flying over thePacific Ocean.
Vote: has 63.00 % from 24 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: Chuck Norris
Chuck Norris was sitting around a campfire with two cowboys. The cowboys were competing to see which one is more hardcore. The first one says," Once, I was charged by an angry bull. I proceeded to jump on its back and kill it by gorging its eyes out." The second says, " Once I was swimming in a river, and an annocanda tried to strangle me. I ripped its head off with my teeth." Chuck norris just smiles and continues tending to the campfire with his penis.
Vote: has 63.00 % from 24 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: animal, Chuck Norris, cowboy, death
We ask the president to make laws. The president asks Chuck Norris.
Vote: has 63.00 % from 24 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: Chuck Norris, political
On Halloween, children give Chuck Norris candy.
Vote: has 63.00 % from 24 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: Chuck Norris, Halloween
You can lead a horse to water, but Chuck Norris can make it drink.
Vote: has 63.00 % from 24 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: animal, Chuck Norris
A train saw Chuck Norris on the track and turned down a dirt road.
Vote: has 63.00 % from 24 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: car, Chuck Norris, travel
Chuck Norris only created Russians so he can use them to take over TGI Fridays.
Vote: has 63.00 % from 24 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: Chuck Norris