If Chuck Norris ever got caught for speeding, he'd let the cops off with a warning.
Chuck Norris doesn't wear flowers in his hair when he goes to San Francisco, he wears poison ivy.
Chuck Norris knows what Willis is talkin' bout- Bbrandon Delariva.
The only reason world peace doesn't exist is because Chuck Norris doesn't feel like bringing peace to the whole world.
If you weigh 78kg on earth you will weigh 13kg on the moon. If Chuck Norris weighs 78kg on earth, the moon weighs 13kg on Chuck Norris.
Chuck Norris doesn't do Burn Down charts, he does Smack Down charts.
Ozzy Osbourne bites the heads off of bats. Chuck Norris bites the heads off of Siberian Tigers.
Chuck Norris originally appeared in the "Street Fighter II" video game, but was removed by Beta Testers because every button caused him to do a roundhouse kick. When asked bout this "glitch," Norris replied, "That's no glitch."
911 calls Chuck Norris for emergency.
Chuck Norris caught them all with one PokeBall.