Chuck Norris is ten feet tall, weighs two-tons, breathes fire, and could eat a hammer and take a shotgun blast standing.
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The housing market crashed because Chuck thought he was paying too much property tax.
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Chuck Norris doesn't Tivo television programs.
They come on when HE wants them to.
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Chuck Norris once climbed the empire state building and roundhouse kicked the human spider off the top.
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Chuck Norris has a daugter: Jason Bourne.
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Black Holes are places where parallel universes are hiding from Chuck Norris.
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Chuck Norris shaves with predator mandibles and uses alien blood for shaving cream.
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The Yeti can't be found because it Chuck Norris made sure no one ever finds it.
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Chuck Norris is so powerful that when he goes fishing, the fish are so scared they drown.
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If Chuck Norris were a cat he would have ten lives.
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