The best Chuck Norris jokes

Chuck Norris once taught a book to read.
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If, by some incredible space-time parodox, Chuck Norris would ever fight himself, he'd win. Period.
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Time travel is possible. But you must first get past Chuck Norris...
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Chuck Norris can spell roundhouse kick with five letters: death.
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Chuck Norris uses paper to cut scissors.
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Chuck Norris once had a pet monkey...his name was KING KONG
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Chuck Norris can turn toast back into bread.
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Chuck Norris does not buy ground beef, he just takes a whole cow, runs it through his beard, and fully cooked hamburgers come out.
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Chuck Norris eats rainbows to taste the Skittles.
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Chuck Norris was supposed to play the lead role in Mission: Impossible. He was replaced by Tom Cruise because the tittle wouldn't make any sense.
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