Chuck Norris is ten feet tall, weighs two-tons, breathes fire, and could eat a hammer and take a shotgun blast standing.
The housing market crashed because Chuck thought he was paying too much property tax.
Chuck Norris doesn't Tivo television programs. They come on when HE wants them to.
Chuck Norris once climbed the empire state building and roundhouse kicked the human spider off the top.
Chuck Norris has a daugter: Jason Bourne.
Black Holes are places where parallel universes are hiding from Chuck Norris.
Chuck Norris shaves with predator mandibles and uses alien blood for shaving cream.
The Yeti can't be found because it Chuck Norris made sure no one ever finds it.
Chuck Norris is so powerful that when he goes fishing, the fish are so scared they drown.
If Chuck Norris were a cat he would have ten lives.