Chuck Norris can find a hay in a needle stack.
Aliens do exist. They're just waiting for Chuck Norris to die before they attack.
Aliens DO indeed exist. They just know better than to visit a planet that Chuck Norris is on.
There will never be a zombie apocalypse, because when Chuck Norris bites zombies, they turn back into humans.
In World War 2 Chuck Norris Pointed his Fingers at an enemy zero and said BANG, The plane burst into flames and crashed.
Chuck Norris's programs can pass the Turing Test by staring at the interrogator.
Chuck Norris doesn't climb trees. He just pulls them down and walks on top of them.
When Chuck Norris sends in his taxes, he sends blank forms and includes only a picture of himself, crouched and ready to attack. Chuck Norris has not had to pay taxes ever.
Time waits for no man. Unless that man is Chuck Norris.
Wonder Woman's magic Lasso is actually one of Chuck Norris' chest hairs.