15 years ago I started a burping contest with Chuck Norris... who had the longest? I don't know he is still busy.
When Chuck Norris was a kid he saw a fat chick, he roundhouse kicked her so hard she transformed. She is now known as Britney Spears.
Chuck Norris can get satellite cable from a Skoal can.
Chuck Norris can walk up a down elavator.
Chuck Norris doesn't contribute to global warming, he exhales pure oxygen.
Chuck Norris is the real man inside of Chucky.
Chuck Norris already has Final Fantasy XXI.
Superman and The Flash have a race around the world. Who wins? Chuck Norris.
Once, on the set of Walker Texas Ranger, a goat fell over dead. Chuck Norris ran up to the goat and beard rubbed it back to life.
It takes a master to shoot a fly from a hundred Paces, but it takes a Chuck Norris to roundhouse-kick one from a thousand.