Darth Vader wears a Chuck Norris mask for Halloween.
Chuck Norris is the only known mammal in history to have an opposable thumb. On his penis.
If you can see Chuck Norris, he can see you. If you can't see Chuck Norris, you may be only seconds away from death.
James Cameron wanted Chuck Norris to play the Terminator. However, upon reflection, he realized that would have turned his movie into a documentary, so he went with Arnold Schwarzenegger.
Climate change is just Chuck Norris playing with the thermostat.
If you type Chuck Norris into Microsoft Word, the little paper-clip just hangs himself.
Ghost Busters call Chuck Norris.
Chuck Norris once taught a book to read.
If, by some incredible space-time parodox, Chuck Norris would ever fight himself, he'd win. Period.
Time travel is possible. But you must first get past Chuck Norris...