If it looks like chicken tastes like chicken and smells like chicken and Chuck Norris says it's beef then it's beef.
If you look back far enough in your family tree, Chuck Norris appears at least three times.
Chuck Norris can press "Pause" on reality.
Harry Potter needs 8 movies to seek and destroy Voldemort. Chuck Norris needs 4 seconds.
Messing with Chuck Norris is the only thing that will get you disqualified from a Colonial Penn Life Insurance policy - at any age.
Chuck Norris doesn't break bricks. They fold under pressure.
Every phobia known to man has a phobia of Chuck Norris.
Chuck Norris has walked to the end of the universe and back.
Chuck Norris got swept over Niagara Falls... He liked it so much, he swam back up and did it again.
Chuck Norris doesn't use web standards as the web will conform to him.