Chuck Norris doesn't need to change the past. He has never made any mistakes.
The only reason world peace doesn't exist is because Chuck Norris doesn't feel like bringing peace to the whole world.
Chuck Norris recently got himself an iPad. It turned into iDust when he tried to use it.
Scientists don't bother to calculate how many years old the planet earth is, they just say it's one Chuck old.
Chuck Norris can't have children, because his dick wouldn't fit.
Aliens DO indeed exist. They just know better than to visit a planet that Chuck Norris is on.
Chuck Norris can make you laugh at your own funeral.
Chuck Norris can sit at the corner of a round table
Chuck Norris got his drivers license at the age of 16 Seconds.
Chuck Norris CAN believe it's not butter.