The best Chuck Norris jokes

Chuck Norris can hear his phone ring on silent.
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In 1986 the U.S.S.R. attempted to clone Chuck Norris. The scientists failure was covered up and we now know their attempt as the Chernobyl disaster.
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Chuck Norris doesn't just bring home the bacon, he brings home the whole pig.
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Cars were invented to have a faster way of fleeing from Chuck Norris. Not to be outdone, Chuck Norris invented the car accident.
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Chuck Norris once had a weak moment, just to know what it felt like.
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Chuck Norris can make a turtle go faster.
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Chuck Norris' first words were... "Chuck Norris".
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Chuck Norris can dunk a basketball using his feet.
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When Chuck Norris got his first sling-shot, he created what we now know today as the "Moon", "Mars", "Jupitar", "Saturn" and "Pluto"
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Chuck norris recently received a restraining order barring him from getting closer then half a mile from Satan.
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