The sandman puts other people to sleep but Chuck Norris put the sandman to sleep.
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A company once tried to make Chuck Norris toilet paper, but they soon realized it wouldn't work because Chuck Norris won't take shit from anyone.
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Chuck Norris was an only child.
Eventually.
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Chuck Norris knows what color a smurf turns when you choke it.
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The true reason why the Nazi's lost the war was because they stopped trying after they found out Chuck Norris had a summer home in Russia.
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Chuck Norris injected his blood into a monkey, a fish, and a lizard.
They are now known as King Kong, Jaws, and Godzilla.
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Q: Chuck Norris invented the internet?
A: Just so he had a place to store his porn.
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When Chuck Norris eats dinner at a restaurant, the wait staff tips him.
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Chuck Norris can alphabetize m&m's
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When Chuck Norris goes skydiving at 10,000 feet he jumps into the plane... from the ground.
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When you sneeze, it means someone is thinking badly of you.
When you have a seizure and pass out, it means Chuck Norris is thinking badly
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