Chuck Norris does not sleep. He waits.
Chuck Norris sold his soul to the devil for his rugged good looks and unparalleled martial arts ability. Shortly after the transaction was finalized, Chuck roundhouse-kicked the devil in the face and took his soul back. The devil, who appreciates irony, couldn't stay mad and admitted he should have seen it coming. They now play poker every second Wednesday of the month.
Chuck Norris once took a CPR class, this way he can kill you, revive you, and kill you again.
Chuck Norris thinks that anyone who can't survive cranial impact with a steam hammer simply isn't making an effort.
Chuck Norris is spelled with a silent "awesome".
Chuck Norris was an only child. Eventually.
When Chuck Norris wears a mood ring, it doesn't say whether he's happy or sad. It says he's Chuck Norris.
Cars were invented to have a faster way of fleeing from Chuck Norris. Not to be outdone, Chuck Norris invented the car accident.
Chuck Norris doesn't give warnings. He doesn't have to, you should already know.
If Chuck Norris were a toy, everything about it would be hazardous.