Lays chips claims "No one can eat just one". Wrong. Chuck Norris ate ONE, laughed then ate a whole bag of Doritos.
Chuck Norris once roundhouse kicked the turbines of Hoover Dam. Since then, the Colorado River is a tourist attraction.
Chuck Norris doesn't have a Facebook, he has a Fistbook... No one's his friend.
Chuck Norris is Darth Vaders father.
Chuck Norris has his own protien powder. The ingriedients include: cocoa powder, stem cells, dodo egg protien, enriched uranium, LSD, and Vin Diesel.
Chuck Norris' dog is trained to pick up his own poop because Chuck Norris will not take shit from anyone.
Some say Chuck once sneezed a rhino inside out.
When you break a leg it is actually not your leg that is broken. It´s Chuck Norris´s leg. He owns everything including you and your pityful leg.
When Chuck Norris looks in the mirror nothing appears. There can never be a second Chuck Norris.
Chuck Norris once strangled a man with the mans own eyelash.