The best Chuck Norris jokes

Chuck Norris can strum your pain with his fingers, tell your whole life with his words – but mainly just kill you softly with his song.
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Chuck Norris hates both the player and the game.
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The speed of light was instituted because Chuck Norris didn't want get winded outrunning it. Chuck Norris hates to sweat.
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Chuck Norris can get satellite cable from a Skoal can.
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Once, on the set of Walker Texas Ranger, a goat fell over dead. Chuck Norris ran up to the goat and beard rubbed it back to life.
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The Reapers in the Mass Effect series were actually Chuck Norris' baby toys.
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In the beginning, God created light because Chuck allowed him to.
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Whiteboards are white because Chuck Norris scared them that way.
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If you stab Chuck Norris, your knife will bleed.
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The Great Wall of China was originally created to keep Chuck Norris out. It failed miserably.
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