When Chuck Norris works out at the gym, he doesn't sweat. The weights do.
When Chuck Norris wants salmon he eats the bear too.
He, who laughs last, laughs best. He who laughs at Chuck Norris … dies.
Chuck Norris is spelled with a silent "awesome".
Chuck Norris called McDonald's through the television.
Chuck Norris can watch music.
Chuck Norris caught a bullet with the same gun he fired it from.
In space Chuck Norris can hear your screams.
Chuck Norris's tombstone will say, "He's finally taking a nap, do not wake."
Wolverine has been called indestructible because of his adamantium skeleton... until Chuck Norris broke every bone in his body.