The reason the Holy Grail has never been recovered is because nobody is brave enough to ask Chuck Norris to give up his favourite coffee mug.
Chuck Norris doesn't use GUI, he prefers the command line.
Q: Chuck Norris invented the internet? A: Just so he had a place to store his porn.
Chuck Norris does his grocery shopping at Home Depot.
Chuck Norris once sued the Houghton-Mifflin textbook company when it became apparent that their account of the war of 1812 was plagiarized from his autobiography.
Chuck Norris is currently suing NBC, claiming Law and Order are trademarked names.
Chuck Norris will attain statehood in 2009. His state flower will be the Magnolia.
When God said "Let there be light!", Chuck Norris said "Only for half the day."
Chuck Norris doesn't sleep with a teddy bear. He sleeps with a real bear.
Chuck Norris was banned from going to "housewarming" parties because he kept burning them down.