Q: Chuck Norris invented the internet? A: Just so he had a place to store his porn.
Chuck Norris never gets dirty. The dirt is too afraid to even touch him or his clothes.
Nagasaki never had a bomb dropped on it. Chuck Norris jumped out of a plane and punched the ground.
Santa Clause, The Easter Bunny, and the Tooth Fairy were all real at one time... then they met Chuck. There can only be 1 living legend.
Some people wear Superman Underwear, Superman wears Chuck Norris underwear. On the other hand, Chuck Norris wears no underwear.
Chuck Norris can travel back in time into the future.
When Chuck Norris goes to the gym the treadmill sweats.
Chuck Norris doesn't just bring home the bacon, he brings home the whole pig.
Chuck Norris won the Nascar season, he was driving a bike.
What happens when Chuck Norris orders a beer and gets a beer? He roundhouses the waitress, Chuck Norris should not have to ask.