Chuck Norris once taught a French Bulldog to be English.
Most tough men eat nails for breakfast. Chuck Norris does all of his grocery shopping at Home Depot.
Chuck Norris can stick his hand inside a rabbit's mouth and pull out a HAT!
Chuck Norris doesn't blow out brithday candles, they surrender their flames willingly.
Scientists did not in fact slipt the atom, Chuck Norris just roundhouse kicked it.
Chuck Norris knows what the secret crabby patty recipe is.
Chuck Norris invented Kentucky Fried Chicken's famous secret recipe, with eleven herbs and spices. But nobody ever mentions the twelfth ingredient: Fear.
The only apocolypse that can happen is if bogyman insults Chuck Norris. The whole universe goes to hell.
Chuck Norris solved Unsolved Mysteries.