Chuck Norris can check his pulse by same hand.
Ballet is banned within a 1000 miles of Chuck Norris.
A watched kettle never boils... unless Chuck Norris is doing the watching, in which case it explodes.
Chuck Norris helps little old ladies cross the street... Bad guys get kicked to the curb!
Chuck Norris once slapped a man into next week. The man was missing for four and a half years.
The grass is always greener on the other side, unless Chuck Norris has been there. In that case the grass is most likely soaked in blood and tears.
Chuck Norris is the reason you turn a light on when you enter a room.
Everybody loves Raymond. Except for Chuck Norris.
Chuck Norris dosn't have a star on Hollywood Blvd he has a constellation.
Q: What's the difference between Chuck Norris and a bear? A: Chuck Norris has more chest hair.