Chuck Norris can travel back in time into the future.
Originally Chuck Norris was in the cast of "The Expendables" but the movie was only 3 seconds long because there was nothing left to kill.
Chuck Norris is so strong, he can punch a hole through thin air.
Chuck Norris walked right into Area 51, bought a Snapple, and walked out. No one dared to move.
April doesn't fool Chuck Norris, Chuck Norris fools April.
Chuck Norris' first words were... "Chuck Norris".
Chuck Norris once made an omelette from a Fabergé egg.
Chuck Norris sprinted 2 marathons - backwards.
The Grinch steals Christmas from Santa, Chuck Norris steals Christmas from the Grinch.
When somebody is all up in your face, just be glad that that someone is NOT Chuck Norris.