Earth is not spinning around the sun. The sun is just desperately trying to keep a distance to Chuck Norris.
Once, on the set of Walker Texas Ranger, a goat fell over dead. Chuck Norris ran up to the goat and beard rubbed it back to life.
It takes a master to shoot a fly from a hundred Paces, but it takes a Chuck Norris to roundhouse-kick one from a thousand.
Chuck Norris' phone never auto corrects him.
Chuck Norris’ house has no doors, only walls that he walks through.
There is no 'ctrl' button on Chuck Norris's computer. Chuck Norris is always in control.
Chuck Norris can send an e-mail with a pencil.
When Bruce Banner's angry he turn into the Hulk. When the Hulk's angry he turns into Chuck Norris
Chuck Norris doesn't need to mow his lawn, He dares the grass to grow.
Chuck Norris does not require food, drink, shelter, or sleep, only confirmed kills.