Chuck Norris was supposed to play the lead role in Mission: Impossible. He was replaced by Tom Cruise because the tittle wouldn't make any sense.
If Chuck Norris were a substance, he would abuse you.
Chuck Norris found Nemo with his eyes closed.
Chuck Norris does not go fishing, the fish surrender.
Two halves make a whole. Two wholes make Chuck Norris.
The Animal Crackers that Chuck Norris eats are made from real animals.
Moses did not part the sea. Chuck Norris accidently did while sneezing.
Solar flares are a myth... it's really Chuck Norris' flashlight.
Don King once had straight hair, until that day he saw Chuck Norris' eyes staring him down.
Chuck Norris can talk with his mouth closed.