Santa Clause, The Easter Bunny, and the Tooth Fairy were all real at one time... then they met Chuck. There can only be 1 living legend.
If Chuck Norris is after you, don't bother killing yourself, he'll pull you down from heaven and kill you again.
Some people wear Superman Underwear, Superman wears Chuck Norris underwear. On the other hand, Chuck Norris wears no underwear.
Chuck Norris won the Nascar season, he was driving a bike.
When somebody is all up in your face, just be glad that that someone is NOT Chuck Norris.
Lays chips claims "No one can eat just one". Wrong. Chuck Norris ate ONE, laughed then ate a whole bag of Doritos.
The only apocolypse that can happen is if bogyman insults Chuck Norris. The whole universe goes to hell.
Chuck Norris can infect a mac with pc viruses.
Rudolph has a red nose because he got lippy and Chuck Norris roundhouse kicked him across the face several times.
When Chuck Norris watches TV it changes the channel for him when he asks just out of fear.