It takes a master to shoot a fly from a hundred Paces, but it takes a Chuck Norris to roundhouse-kick one from a thousand.
Chuck Norris' phone never auto corrects him.
Chuck Norris’ house has no doors, only walls that he walks through.
There is no 'ctrl' button on Chuck Norris's computer. Chuck Norris is always in control.
Chuck Norris can send an e-mail with a pencil.
When Bruce Banner's angry he turn into the Hulk. When the Hulk's angry he turns into Chuck Norris
Chuck Norris doesn't need to mow his lawn, He dares the grass to grow.
Chuck Norris does not require food, drink, shelter, or sleep, only confirmed kills.
Chuck norris recently received a restraining order barring him from getting closer then half a mile from Satan.
Chuck Norris killed the devil and is selling his own line of Picks of Destiny, available in all Chuck Norris approved guitar shops.