Chuck Norris never swam.
Every time he was about to get in a pool the water ran away in terror!
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Chuch Norris doesn't make threats, he makes promises.
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The earth is rotating because Chuck Norris is breathing.
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Chuck Norris can check his pulse by same hand.
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Chuck Norris can light the contents of the Windows recycle bin on fire.
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The Mayans predict that Chuck Norris going to roundhouse kick this earth in the year 2012.
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Ballet is banned within a 1000 miles of Chuck Norris.
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A watched kettle never boils... unless Chuck Norris is doing the watching, in which case it explodes.
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Chuck Norris helps little old ladies cross the street...
Bad guys get kicked to the curb!
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Chuck Norris can turn on clapper lights by flexing.
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