Chuck Norris doesn't compete, he wins.
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The first time Chuck Norris won a game of poker was when his apponant reaveled his full house; then Chuck Norris reaveled his roundhouse.
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Hercules strangled two snakes in his crib when he was a baby.
Chuck Norris strangled a grizzly bear moments after birth with his own umbilical cord.
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If Chuck Norris were to get into a fight with another Chuck Norris, Chuck Norris would win.
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When Chuck Norris enters a room, he doesn't turn the lights on, he turns the dark off.
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When the Boogeyman goes to sleep every night, he checks his closet for Chuck Norris.
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Chuck Norris discovered a new theory of relativity involving multiple universes in which Chuck Norris is even more badass than in this one.
When it was discovered by Albert Einstein and made public, Chuck Norris roundhouse-kicked him in the face.
We know Albert Einstein today as Stephen Hawking.
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Chuck Norris once ate a whole cake before his friends could tell him there was a stripper in it.
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If Chuck Norris roundhouse kicks you, even Google won't be able to find you.
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Chuck Norris can eat soup with a fork.
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