Chuck Norris never swam. Every time he was about to get in a pool the water ran away in terror!
Chuch Norris doesn't make threats, he makes promises.
The earth is rotating because Chuck Norris is breathing.
Chuck Norris can check his pulse by same hand.
Chuck Norris can light the contents of the Windows recycle bin on fire.
The Mayans predict that Chuck Norris going to roundhouse kick this earth in the year 2012.
Ballet is banned within a 1000 miles of Chuck Norris.
A watched kettle never boils... unless Chuck Norris is doing the watching, in which case it explodes.
Chuck Norris helps little old ladies cross the street... Bad guys get kicked to the curb!
Chuck Norris can turn on clapper lights by flexing.