Earth is not spinning around the sun.
The sun is just desperately trying to keep a distance to Chuck Norris.
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Once, on the set of Walker Texas Ranger, a goat fell over dead.
Chuck Norris ran up to the goat and beard rubbed it back to life.
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It takes a master to shoot a fly from a hundred Paces, but it takes a Chuck Norris to roundhouse-kick one from a thousand.
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Chuck Norris' phone never auto corrects him.
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Chuck Norris’ house has no doors, only walls that he walks through.
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There is no 'ctrl' button on Chuck Norris's computer.
Chuck Norris is always in control.
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Chuck Norris can send an e-mail with a pencil.
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When Bruce Banner's angry he turn into the Hulk.
When the Hulk's angry he turns into Chuck Norris
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Chuck Norris doesn't need to mow his lawn, He dares the grass to grow.
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Chuck Norris does not require food, drink, shelter, or sleep, only confirmed kills.
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