What you call a wrecking ball, Chuck Norris calls a punching bag.
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Chuck Norris doesn't try to find clowns they try to find him.
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Chuck Norris doesn't bug hunt as that signifies a probability of failure, he goes bug killing.
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When Light wrote Chuck Norris' name in the Death Note, the book died.
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Chuck Norris was sitting around a campfire with two cowboys.
The cowboys were competing to see which one is more hardcore.
The first one says," Once, I was charged by an angry bull. I proceeded to jump on its back and kill it by gorging its eyes out."
The second says, " Once I was swimming in a river, and an annocanda tried to strangle me. I ripped its head off with my teeth."
Chuck norris just smiles and continues tending to the campfire with his penis.
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Chuck Norris can skip a sound track on the radio if he doesn't like it.
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When Chuck Norris enters a sauna the sauna starts sweating.
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When Chuck Norris was born, the only person crying was the doctor.
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The Swiss army uses a Chuck Norris knife.
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The original title for Alien vs. Predator was Alien and Predator vs Chuck Norris.
The film was cancelled shortly after going into preproduction.
No one would pay nine dollars to see a movie fourteen seconds long.
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