Chuck Norris can punch your thoughts and give you a headache.
It takes a master to shoot a fly from a hundred Paces, but it takes a Chuck Norris to roundhouse-kick one from a thousand.
Q: What does Superman, Batman, and Ironman have in common? A: When they were kids they wanted to be Chuck Norris
Chuck Norris once won the Iditarod by pulling his team of dogs on the sled.
When Chuck Norris finds fools' gold it automatically turns into real gold. Chuck Norris is nobody's fool.
When Chuck Norris wants to burn calories, he throws fat kids into a camp fire.
Chuck Norris has the iPhone 5...he got it back in '84.
Chuck Norris to Major Tom - Stay there.
Chuck Norris has found what U2 are looking for.
Chuck Norris is the only human being to display the Heisenberg uncertainty principle -- you can never know both exactly where and how quickly he will roundhouse-kick you in the face.