Chuck Norris doesn't have a beard on his face. Chuck Norris' beard has a face.
When Chuck Norris wears a mood ring, it doesn't say whether he's happy or sad. It says he's Chuck Norris.
Chuck Norris once won a game of Space Invaders without shooting.
The ground hog only pokes his head out to check for Chuck Norris.
In 1986 the U.S.S.R. attempted to clone Chuck Norris. The scientists failure was covered up and we now know their attempt as the Chernobyl disaster.
There are only two things that can cut diamonds: other diamonds, and Chuck Norris.
Chuck Norris took a rocket science class but quit becaus it was too easy.
Chuck Norris doesn't give warnings. He doesn't have to, you should already know.
Chuck Norris tells his GPS when he wants to turn.
You know "The Matrix" that was Chuck Norris' very first dream.