Chuck Norris can punch your thoughts and give you a headache.
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It takes a master to shoot a fly from a hundred Paces, but it takes a Chuck Norris to roundhouse-kick one from a thousand.
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Q: What does Superman, Batman, and Ironman have in common?
A: When they were kids they wanted to be Chuck Norris
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Chuck Norris once won the Iditarod by pulling his team of dogs on the sled.
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When Chuck Norris finds fools' gold it automatically turns into real gold.
Chuck Norris is nobody's fool.
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When Chuck Norris wants to burn calories, he throws fat kids into a camp fire.
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Chuck Norris has the iPhone 5...he got it back in '84.
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Chuck Norris to Major Tom - Stay there.
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Chuck Norris has found what U2 are looking for.
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Chuck Norris is the only human being to display the Heisenberg uncertainty principle -- you can never know both exactly where and how quickly he will roundhouse-kick you in the face.
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