Chuck Norris doesn't pay the government, the government pays him.
Chuck Norris had a knife thrown at him... the knife didn't impale him, he impaled the knife.
Chuck Norris' pager is still cool.
Voldemort once ran into Chuck Norris. He is now known as Harry Potter.
The reason everything is better in Texas is because Chuck Norris said so.
Chuck starts the new year by roundhouse kicking the old one.
Lehman Brothers owed Chuck Norris a fiver. When he asked for payback, well, you know the rest.
Chuck Norris doesn't teach his kicks. They speak for themselves.
For breakfast Chuck Norris enjoys toast and jellyfish.
Why did we have a global recession? Because Chuck Norris asked "Whats a global Recession?"