Chuck Norris doesn't play dead for bears, bears play dead for Chuck Norris.
Santa Claus goes to the mall to sit on Chuck Norris' lap.
Dinosaurs once crossed Chuck Norris. Once.
The actual definition of U.F.O is Chuck Norris's Toy Frisbee.
Chuck Norris can won the winter Olympics... In the summer.
Chuck Norris was once charged with three attempted murders in Boulder County, but the Judge quickly dropped the charges because Chuck Norris does not "attempt" murder.
When Chuck Norris gets nominated for the ALS ice bucket challenge, the bucket donates $1000 to ALS research.
When Chuck Norris eats dinner at a restaurant, the wait staff tips him.
Got said, "Let there be light!" Chuck Norris looked at him and said: "Say please."
When Chuck Norris calls 1-900 numbers, he doesn’t get charged. He holds up the phone and money falls out.