Chuck Norris doesn't play dead for bears, bears play dead for Chuck Norris.
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Santa Claus goes to the mall to sit on Chuck Norris' lap.
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Dinosaurs once crossed Chuck Norris.
Once.
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The actual definition of U.F.O is Chuck Norris's Toy Frisbee.
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Chuck Norris can won the winter Olympics...
In the summer.
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Chuck Norris was once charged with three attempted murders in Boulder County, but the Judge quickly dropped the charges because Chuck Norris does not "attempt" murder.
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When Chuck Norris gets nominated for the ALS ice bucket challenge, the bucket donates $1000 to ALS research.
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When Chuck Norris eats dinner at a restaurant, the wait staff tips him.
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Got said, "Let there be light!"
Chuck Norris looked at him and said: "Say please."
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When Chuck Norris calls 1-900 numbers, he doesn’t get charged.
He holds up the phone and money falls out.
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