A watched kettle never boils... unless Chuck Norris is doing the watching, in which case it explodes.
Chuck Norris helps little old ladies cross the street... Bad guys get kicked to the curb!
Bill Gates once asked Chuck Norris to be his personal body guard for an hour, he couldn't afford it...
Chuck Norris once slapped a man into next week. The man was missing for four and a half years.
The Matrix once had to take the red pill to escape from Chuck Norris. It failed. Nothing can escape from Chuck Norris.
Mess with Chuck Norris, you get roundhouse kicked.
Chuck Norris won one million dollars gambling playing Solitaire.
When Chuck lit a match earth saw the sun for the first time!
Brett Favre can throw a football over 50 yards. Chuck Norris can throw Brett Favre even further.
Chuck Norris doesn't play "hide-and-seek." He plays "hide-and-pray-I-don't-find-you."