Chuck Norris doesn't churn butter. He roundhouse kicks the cows and the butter comes straight out.
For some, the left testicle is larger than the right one. For Chuck Norris, each testicle is larger than the other one.
People created the automobile to escape from Chuck Norris... Not to be outdone, Chuck Norris created the automobile accident.
Chuck Norris doesn't celebrate Xmas, Xmas celebrates Chuck Norris.
Chuck Norris doesn't always drink beer, but when he does he has the dos equis guy serve it to him in a dress.
Chuck Norris grew a beard at the age of eighteen. Twice.
Chuck Norris does not buy ground beef, he just takes a whole cow, runs it through his beard, and fully cooked hamburgers come out.
Chuck Norris eats rainbows to taste the Skittles.
Chuck Norris can make sounds come out on his Air Guitar.
When Chuck Norris touched a Prius, it turned into a Ferrari