Chuck Norris doesn't have an attitude. He has a personality you can't handle.
When Chuck Norris goes to out to eat, he orders a whole chicken, but he only eats its soul.
Chuck Norris doesn't have a chin under his beard just another fist!
Chuck Norris doesn’t wash his clothes, he disembowels them.
Chuck Norris doesn't churn butter. He roundhouse kicks the cows and the butter comes straight out.
For some, the left testicle is larger than the right one. For Chuck Norris, each testicle is larger than the other one.
People created the automobile to escape from Chuck Norris... Not to be outdone, Chuck Norris created the automobile accident.
Chuck Norris doesn't always drink beer, but when he does he has the dos equis guy serve it to him in a dress.
Chuck Norris grew a beard at the age of eighteen. Twice.
Chuck Norris eats rainbows to taste the Skittles.