Chuck Norris doesn’t wash his clothes, he disembowels them.
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For some, the left testicle is larger than the right one.
For Chuck Norris, each testicle is larger than the other one.
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People created the automobile to escape from Chuck Norris...
Not to be outdone, Chuck Norris created the automobile accident.
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Chuck Norris doesn't always drink beer, but when he does he has the dos equis guy serve it to him in a dress.
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Chuck Norris grew a beard at the age of eighteen.
Twice.
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Chuck Norris eats rainbows to taste the Skittles.
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Chuck Norris can make sounds come out on his Air Guitar.
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Mess with Chuck Norris, you get roundhouse kicked.
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Ozzy Ozbourne once bit the head off a bat. Not one to be outdone, Chuck Norris bit the head off Batman!
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If Charlie Sheen is winning, it's only because Chuck Norris isn't playing.
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