The best Chuck Norris jokes

Chuck Norris was supposed to be in the movie Halloween but the director thought it would be kind of stupid for Michael Meyers to stab himself in fear.
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When Bruce Banner's angry he turn into the Hulk. When the Hulk's angry he turns into Chuck Norris
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Chuck Norris named his parents.
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Chuck Norris doesn't cry. His eyes sweat.
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In the back of the book of world records, it says "All records are held by Chuck Norris. The ones listed are in second place."
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If you write the Death Note on Chuck Norris, the Death Note dies.
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Chuck Norris can turn carbon paper into diamonds.
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When Chuck Norris works out, he doesn't sweat. His body cries.
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I had an idea once, and a light bulb appeared over my head. Chuck Norris had an idea, and the sun was created.
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There are only two things that can cut diamonds: other diamonds, and Chuck Norris.
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