The goal of life is living in agreement with Chuck Norris.
Underneath China it says "Made in Chuck Norris".
One day Chuck Norris went into Wal Mart. The clerk told him to have a nice day. The next day the clerk was found dead. The police asked Chuck Norris if he killed her and he said yes so they asked him why. He said " Nobody tells Chuck Norris what to do"
Chuck Norris is never late... time is just early.
Chuck Norris can play PS3 games - on PS1
In the Matrix, the bullets try to dodge Chuck Norris - and fail.
When Chuck Norris was a baby, he sucked on a pacifier and made it cry.
Chuck Norris has nicknames for his feet... Hiroshima and Nagasaki.
Chuck Norris once ate a whole bucket of sleepng pills and it managed to make him yawn.
It is convenient to be near a hospital when you are injured. It is also convenient to insult Chuck Norris while standing in an open grave.