Do you know Chuck Norris? Yes? Then he shall allow you to live... for now.
When Chuck Norris falls out of a boat , he dosn't hit water... That's because Chuck Norris would never fall out of a boat it the first place.
Chuck Norris doesn't have an ATM PIN – the machine just spits out cash – at every bank!
Chuck Norris does not understand any phrase that begins with "if at first you don't succeed."
The Holy Grail is in Chuck Norris's living room.
Jedis are now taught to use the "Chuck".
When somebody else yawns, Chuck Norris does not.
Chuck Norris hates both the player and the game.
The speed of light was instituted because Chuck Norris didn't want get winded outrunning it. Chuck Norris hates to sweat.
Steve Austin had to be rebuilt as the Six Million Dollar Man after he looked Chuck Norris in the eye, shook his hand and then went weak at the knees.