Chuck Norris doesn't always drink beer, but when he does he has the dos equis guy serve it to him in a dress.
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Chuck Norris eats rainbows to taste the Skittles.
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Chuck Norris can make sounds come out on his Air Guitar.
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When Chuck Norris touched a Prius, it turned into a Ferrari
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Titanic crashed into Chuck Norris' cut out toe nail.
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What time is it when Chuck Norris knocks on your door?
Too Late!
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Chuck Norris' Internet connection is faster upstream than downstream because even data has more incentive to run from him than to him.
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The Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse actually live in Chuck Norris's nutsack.
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When Chuck Norris wants to burn calories, he throws fat kids into a camp fire.
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Chuck Norris invented 1080p so people could see his beard is made of razor wire.
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