Chuck Norris once gave a cop a ticket for speeding.
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Researchers once tried to measure Chuck Norris' IQ, but found that numbers don't count that high.
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Chuck Norris can alphabetize m&m's
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Chuck Norris doesn't use anti-virus. Viruses use anti-Chuck Norris.
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The Earth does NOT revolve around the Sun.
The Earth is stationary.
The Sun follows Chuck Norris as he makes his daily jog around the Earth.
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Chuck Norris doesn't need a GPS: The World orients itself to where he wants to go.
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Chuck Norris made an armless man tap out.
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Evolution ended the day Chuck Norris was born.
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Chuck Norris' sweat is used to disinfect operating rooms.
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Chuck Norris' blood is the only blood to test positive for kickass.
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