Chuck Norris... Chuck Norris... Chuck Norris... Okay, I've finished my morning prayers.
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Superman's weakness isn't kryptonite, it's obvious who it is...
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Chuck Norris climbed the stairway to heaven, and came back down again.
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Chuck Norris hit a home run in a football game.
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The movie Unstoppable is based on Chuck Norris' morning jog.
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When observing a Chuck Norris roundhouse kick in slow motion one finds that Chuck Norris actually rapes his victim in the ass, smokes a cigarette with Dennis Leary, and then roundhouse kicks them in the face.
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Justin Timberlake didn't bring sexy back Chuck Norris did.
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Chuck Norris has only used the 'Total Gym' twice in his life.
When his eyes are open - and when they are closed.
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When Chuck Norris went to Easter island, he couldn't understand why other tourists kept asking him to pose for photos next to the stone monoliths.
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Superman is faster then a speeding bullet.
Chuck Norris just runs Superman down and keeps going.
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