Chuck Norris... Chuck Norris... Chuck Norris... Okay, I've finished my morning prayers.
Superman's weakness isn't kryptonite, it's obvious who it is...
Chuck Norris climbed the stairway to heaven, and came back down again.
Chuck Norris hit a home run in a football game.
The movie Unstoppable is based on Chuck Norris' morning jog.
When observing a Chuck Norris roundhouse kick in slow motion one finds that Chuck Norris actually rapes his victim in the ass, smokes a cigarette with Dennis Leary, and then roundhouse kicks them in the face.
Justin Timberlake didn't bring sexy back Chuck Norris did.
Chuck Norris has only used the 'Total Gym' twice in his life. When his eyes are open - and when they are closed.
When Chuck Norris went to Easter island, he couldn't understand why other tourists kept asking him to pose for photos next to the stone monoliths.
Superman is faster then a speeding bullet. Chuck Norris just runs Superman down and keeps going.