When Chuck Norris went to Easter island, he couldn't understand why other tourists kept asking him to pose for photos next to the stone monoliths.
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Superman is faster then a speeding bullet.
Chuck Norris just runs Superman down and keeps going.
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Chuck Norris can use a Shake Weight without looking gay.
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Darth Vader wears a Chuck Norris mask for Halloween.
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Chuck Norris doesn't worry about high gas prices.
His vehicles run on fear.
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Chuck Norris was sitting around a campfire with two cowboys.
The cowboys were competing to see which one is more hardcore.
The first one says," Once, I was charged by an angry bull. I proceeded to jump on its back and kill it by gorging its eyes out."
The second says, " Once I was swimming in a river, and an annocanda tried to strangle me. I ripped its head off with my teeth."
Chuck norris just smiles and continues tending to the campfire with his penis.
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Chuck Norris was supposed to be in the movie Halloween but the director thought it would be kind of stupid for Michael Meyers to stab himself in fear.
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Chuck Norris doesn't need to change the past.
He has never made any mistakes.
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Chuck Norris recently got himself an iPad.
It turned into iDust when he tried to use it.
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Not everyone that Chuck Norris is mad at gets killed.
Some get away.
They are called astronauts.
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