Chuck Norris is the only known mammal in history to have an opposable thumb.
On his penis.
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Chuck Norris can check his facebook on a typewriter.
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When Chuck Norris walks into a room, the mice jump on chairs.
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July 4th is Independence day.
And the day Chuck Norris was born.
Coincidence? I think not.
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Chuck Norris does not submit to homeland security, he IS homeland security.
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If you Google search "Chuck Norris getting his ass kicked" you will generate zero results.
It just doesn't happen.
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Kanye West interupted Chuck Norris and became Kanye East.
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Chuck Norris doesn't have a Facebook, he has a Fistbook...
No one's his friend.
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Chuck Norris likes his meat rare, so he eats unicorns.
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If you ask Chuck Norris what time it is, he always says, "Two seconds 'till."
After you ask, "Two seconds 'til what?" he roundhouse kicks you in the face.
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