The best Chuck Norris jokes

In honor of Chuck Norris, all McDonald's in Texas have an even larger size than the super-size. When ordering, just ask to be "Norrisized".
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When an episode of Walker Texas Ranger was aired in France, the French surrendered to Chuck Norris just to be on the safe side.
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Chuck Norris doesn’t shave; he kicks himself in the face. The only thing that can cut Chuck Norris is Chuck Norris.
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Chuck Norris doesn't bowl strikes, he just knocks down one pin and the other nine faint.
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Chuck Norris can ski up a mountain.
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Chuck Norris once planted a box of Cheerios in his yard, the result was a donut tree.
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People created the automobile to escape from Chuck Norris... Not to be outdone, Chuck Norris created the automobile accident.
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Chuck Norris can skydive indoors.
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Chuck Norris wears white to a funeral, no one asks why.
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Chuck Norris can do a downward uppercut.
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