When Chuck Norris went to Easter island, he couldn't understand why other tourists kept asking him to pose for photos next to the stone monoliths.
Superman is faster then a speeding bullet. Chuck Norris just runs Superman down and keeps going.
Chuck Norris can use a Shake Weight without looking gay.
Darth Vader wears a Chuck Norris mask for Halloween.
Chuck Norris doesn't worry about high gas prices. His vehicles run on fear.
Chuck Norris was sitting around a campfire with two cowboys. The cowboys were competing to see which one is more hardcore. The first one says," Once, I was charged by an angry bull. I proceeded to jump on its back and kill it by gorging its eyes out." The second says, " Once I was swimming in a river, and an annocanda tried to strangle me. I ripped its head off with my teeth." Chuck norris just smiles and continues tending to the campfire with his penis.
Chuck Norris was supposed to be in the movie Halloween but the director thought it would be kind of stupid for Michael Meyers to stab himself in fear.
Chuck Norris doesn't need to change the past. He has never made any mistakes.
Chuck Norris recently got himself an iPad. It turned into iDust when he tried to use it.
Not everyone that Chuck Norris is mad at gets killed. Some get away. They are called astronauts.