America doesn't need a military... We've got Chuck Norris
Racehorses have to pee like Chuck Norris.
When Chuck Norris enters a room, he doesn't turn the lights on, he turns the dark off.
When the Boogeyman goes to sleep every night, he checks his closet for Chuck Norris.
Contrary to popular belief, America is not a democracy, it is a Chucktatorship.
How long does it take Chuck Norris to get to Asia? 2 months... How does he get there? He walks.
Iran reveals a plan to test its first Chuck Norris within a week.
The Holy Grail is in Chuck Norris's living room.
Randy Johnson can throw a fastball 101mph. Chuck Norris can throw Randy Johnson 101mph.
One day Chuck Norris went into Wal Mart. The clerk told him to have a nice day. The next day the clerk was found dead. The police asked Chuck Norris if he killed her and he said yes so they asked him why. He said " Nobody tells Chuck Norris what to do"