Chuck Norris likes his meat rare, so he eats unicorns.
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If you ask Chuck Norris what time it is, he always says, "Two seconds 'till."
After you ask, "Two seconds 'til what?" he roundhouse kicks you in the face.
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Chuck Norris is the only man to ever defeat a brick wall in a game of tennis.
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When Chuck Norris falls in water, Chuck Norris doesn't get wet.
Water gets Chuck Norris.
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Chuck Norris once took a CPR class, this way he can kill you, revive you, and kill you again.
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Chuck Norris went for a swim in the ocean.
The sharks headed for land.
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Chuck Norris puts the fun in funeral.
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Do you know why God is called "God"?
Because "Chuck Norris" is already taken.
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People believe in God. God believe in Chuck Norris.
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The entire movie of "Anaconda" was recorded inside Chuck Norris' pants.
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