Chuck Norris doesn't celebrate Xmas, Xmas celebrates Chuck Norris.
Chuck Norris... Chuck Norris... Chuck Norris... Okay, I've finished my morning prayers.
Superman's weakness isn't kryptonite, it's obvious who it is...
You know why Chuck Norris is always on top during sex? Because he never fucks up.
Chuck Norris climbed the stairway to heaven, and came back down again.
The movie Unstoppable is based on Chuck Norris' morning jog.
When observing a Chuck Norris roundhouse kick in slow motion one finds that Chuck Norris actually rapes his victim in the ass, smokes a cigarette with Dennis Leary, and then roundhouse kicks them in the face.
Justin Timberlake didn't bring sexy back Chuck Norris did.
Chuck Norris has only used the 'Total Gym' twice in his life. When his eyes are open - and when they are closed.
When Chuck Norris went to Easter island, he couldn't understand why other tourists kept asking him to pose for photos next to the stone monoliths.