Chuck Norris likes his meat rare, so he eats unicorns.
If you ask Chuck Norris what time it is, he always says, "Two seconds 'till." After you ask, "Two seconds 'til what?" he roundhouse kicks you in the face.
Chuck Norris is the only man to ever defeat a brick wall in a game of tennis.
When Chuck Norris falls in water, Chuck Norris doesn't get wet. Water gets Chuck Norris.
Chuck Norris once took a CPR class, this way he can kill you, revive you, and kill you again.
Chuck Norris went for a swim in the ocean. The sharks headed for land.
Chuck Norris puts the fun in funeral.
Do you know why God is called "God"? Because "Chuck Norris" is already taken.
People believe in God. God believe in Chuck Norris.
The entire movie of "Anaconda" was recorded inside Chuck Norris' pants.