Only once in history has Chuck Norris snapped his fingers, scientists call it The Big Bang.
Chuck Norris doesn't go to therapy, therapy goes to Chuck Norris.
The original title for Alien vs. Predator was Alien and Predator vs Chuck Norris. The film was cancelled shortly after going into preproduction. No one would pay nine dollars to see a movie fourteen seconds long.
Bigfoot thinks Chuck Norris is a myth
When Chuck Norris was a kid, he wanted to see if you really could kill two birds with a stone. Let's just say that's why birds fly still south in the winter.
When Chuck Norris goes to the gym the treadmill sweats.
The housing market crashed because Chuck thought he was paying too much property tax.
Chuck Norris once went to Stevie Wonders concerts and smiled at him; Stevie Wonder is now blind.
Chuck Norris knows the last digit of pi.
Scientists don't bother to calculate how many years old the planet earth is, they just say it's one Chuck old.