Chuck Norris... Chuck Norris... Chuck Norris... Okay, I've finished my morning prayers.
Chuck Norris cleans up crime... with a mop and bucket... full of people's blood.
Chuck Norris doesn't have a will. Invincible people don't need them.
Chuck Norris's favourite drink is diamond juice, which he squeezes out of raw diamonds with his bare hands.
When Chuck Norris lifts weights, the weights get stronger.
Originally Chuck Norris was in the cast of "The Expendables" but the movie was only 3 seconds long because there was nothing left to kill.
Chuck Norris has heard the actual voice of Charlie Brown's teacher...
Wilt Chamberlain claims to have slept with more than 20,000 women in his lifetime. Chuck Norris calls this "a slow Tuesday."
When Chuck Norris steals a car he forces it to start.
Scientists did not in fact slipt the atom, Chuck Norris just roundhouse kicked it.
The first time Chuck Norris won a game of poker was when his apponant reaveled his full house; then Chuck Norris reaveled his roundhouse.