Chuck Norris... Chuck Norris... Chuck Norris... Okay, I've finished my morning prayers.
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All men are created equal.
Equally inferior to Chuck Norris.
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Chuck Norris is the only person able beat a fish at holding his breath under water.
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Chuck Norris holds the world record for most push ups done in a hour, the number is all of them.
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Chuck was once on the Olympics and he won all the medals but he was disqualifyed for roundhouse kicking the judges because they misspelled his name.
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When observing a Chuck Norris roundhouse kick in slow motion one finds that Chuck Norris actually rapes his victim in the ass, smokes a cigarette with Dennis Leary, and then roundhouse kicks them in the face.
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Chuck Norris can wipe rainwater from inside his car.
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Chuck Norris's computer has no "backspace" button, Chuck Norris doesn't make mistakes.
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If Chuck Norris roundhouse kicks you, even Google won't be able to find you.
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Chuck Norris can break air.
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Chuck Norris doesn’t wash his clothes, he disembowels them.
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