Chuck Norris... Chuck Norris... Chuck Norris... Okay, I've finished my morning prayers.
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Chuck Norris can find a hay in a needle stack.
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Chuck Norris roundhouse kicks don't really kill people.
They wipe out their entire existence from the space-time continuum.
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If he wanted to, Chuck Norris could rob a bank.
By phone.
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Chuck Norris doesn't blink...reality pauses.
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Chuck Norris could stab you with a worm.
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Chuck Norris once ate a whole bucket of sleepng pills and it managed to make him yawn.
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The Roswell UFO crashed because Chuck thought it was a frisbee.
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Chuck Norris will never die.
The Grim Reaper is too scared to come and claim him.
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When observing a Chuck Norris roundhouse kick in slow motion one finds that Chuck Norris actually rapes his victim in the ass, smokes a cigarette with Dennis Leary, and then roundhouse kicks them in the face.
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Chuck Norris has a deep and abiding respect for human life... unless it gets in his way.
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