Chuck Norris was supposed to be in the movie Halloween but the director thought it would be kind of stupid for Michael Meyers to stab himself in fear.
Chuck Norris doesn't need to change the past. He has never made any mistakes.
Chuck Norris recently got himself an iPad. It turned into iDust when he tried to use it.
Not everyone that Chuck Norris is mad at gets killed. Some get away. They are called astronauts.
What you call a wrecking ball, Chuck Norris calls a punching bag.
They were just five lakes, until Chuck Norris said they were Great!
Chuck Norris can blow a tornado away.
When Teddy Rosavelt said there is nothing to fear but fear itself he obiously hadn't met Chuck Norris.
Chuck Norris once bowled a 300... Without a ball... He wasn't even in a bowling ally.
Chuck Norris once won a three-legged race... By himself.