Scientists don't bother to calculate how many years old the planet earth is, they just say it's one Chuck old.
On a high school math test, Chuck Norris put down "Violence" as every one of the answers. He got an A+ on the test because Chuck Norris solves all his problems with Violence.
PlayStation network was never hacked. Chuck Norris just decided to play one day.
Chuck Norris never needs help, help needs Chuck Norris.
Chuck Norris doesn't have a beard on his face. Chuck Norris' beard has a face.
Chuck Norris once won a game of Space Invaders without shooting.
In 1986 the U.S.S.R. attempted to clone Chuck Norris. The scientists failure was covered up and we now know their attempt as the Chernobyl disaster.
I had an idea once, and a light bulb appeared over my head. Chuck Norris had an idea, and the sun was created.
If you poke Chuck Norris on facebook he will kick you. On facebook!
Everyone knows the speed of light... Chuck Norris knows the speed of darkness.