When Chuck Norris goes to the gym the treadmill sweats.
The housing market crashed because Chuck thought he was paying too much property tax.
Chuck Norris once went to Stevie Wonders concerts and smiled at him; Stevie Wonder is now blind.
You know why Chuck Norris is always on top during sex? Because he never fucks up.
Only Chuck Norris knows a bigger number than infinity, and it's not infinite plus one.
PlayStation network was never hacked. Chuck Norris just decided to play one day.
Chuck Norris never needs help, help needs Chuck Norris.
Chuck Norris doesn't have a beard on his face. Chuck Norris' beard has a face.
Chuck Norris once won a game of Space Invaders without shooting.
In 1986 the U.S.S.R. attempted to clone Chuck Norris. The scientists failure was covered up and we now know their attempt as the Chernobyl disaster.