Chuck Norris does not eat.
Food understands that the only safe haven from Chuck Norris' fists is inside his own body.
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The speed of light was instituted because Chuck Norris didn't want get winded outrunning it.
Chuck Norris hates to sweat.
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Steve Austin had to be rebuilt as the Six Million Dollar Man after he looked Chuck Norris in the eye, shook his hand and then went weak at the knees.
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Chuck Norris can get satellite cable from a Skoal can.
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Chuck Norris can follow you into a revolving door and come out ahead of you.
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When Chuck Norris was 3 years old , he was bored
And decided to carve a sculpture with only his
Baby toe nail , this sculpture is now called....
Mount Rushmore.
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Pluto is actually an orbiting group of British soldiers from the American Revolution who entered space after the Chuck gave them a roundhouse kick to the face.
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Chuck Norris's urine was the main ingredient for balco's designer steroids.
Therefore, Chuck Norris is actually the all-time single-season home run king.
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When Chuck Norris says "Jump", you don't say, "How high?" - you say, "When do I come down?"
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One man said he got his butt whooped by Chuck Norris twice but he lied, because everyone knows you couldn't survive it once.
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