The best Chuck Norris jokes

Chuck Norris does not eat. Food understands that the only safe haven from Chuck Norris' fists is inside his own body.
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has 37.93 % from 86 votes. More jokes about: Chuck Norris, food
The speed of light was instituted because Chuck Norris didn't want get winded outrunning it. Chuck Norris hates to sweat.
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has 37.92 % from 24 votes. More jokes about: Chuck Norris, science
Steve Austin had to be rebuilt as the Six Million Dollar Man after he looked Chuck Norris in the eye, shook his hand and then went weak at the knees.
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has 37.92 % from 24 votes. More jokes about: celebrity, Chuck Norris, money
Chuck Norris can get satellite cable from a Skoal can.
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has 37.92 % from 24 votes. More jokes about: Chuck Norris, technology
Chuck Norris can follow you into a revolving door and come out ahead of you.
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has 37.92 % from 24 votes. More jokes about: Chuck Norris
When Chuck Norris was 3 years old , he was bored And decided to carve a sculpture with only his Baby toe nail , this sculpture is now called.... Mount Rushmore.
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has 37.92 % from 24 votes. More jokes about: age, baby, Chuck Norris
Pluto is actually an orbiting group of British soldiers from the American Revolution who entered space after the Chuck gave them a roundhouse kick to the face.
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has 37.92 % from 24 votes. More jokes about: Chuck Norris
Chuck Norris's urine was the main ingredient for balco's designer steroids. Therefore, Chuck Norris is actually the all-time single-season home run king.
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has 37.92 % from 24 votes. More jokes about: Chuck Norris
When Chuck Norris says "Jump", you don't say, "How high?" - you say, "When do I come down?"
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has 37.92 % from 24 votes. More jokes about: Chuck Norris
One man said he got his butt whooped by Chuck Norris twice but he lied, because everyone knows you couldn't survive it once.
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has 37.92 % from 24 votes. More jokes about: Chuck Norris
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