The best Chuck Norris jokes

Chuck Norris discovered a new theory of relativity involving multiple universes in which Chuck Norris is even more badass than in this one. When it was discovered by Albert Einstein and made public, Chuck Norris roundhouse-kicked him in the face. We know Albert Einstein today as Stephen Hawking.
Vote: has 49.51 % from 14 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: Chuck Norris
Chuck Norris can win a football game by spiking a tennis ball over a volleyball net.
Vote: has 49.51 % from 14 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: Chuck Norris, football
Scientis cannot figure out where Atlantis is... Chuck Norris owns a villa there.
Vote: has 49.51 % from 14 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: Chuck Norris, geography, science
When Chuck Norris visits Europe on vacation, France surrenders.
Vote: has 49.51 % from 14 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: Chuck Norris
Chuck Norris doesn't sleep with a teddy bear. He sleeps with a real bear.
Vote: has 49.51 % from 14 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: animal, Chuck Norris
Chuck Norris does not go fishing, the fish surrender.
Vote: has 49.51 % from 14 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: Chuck Norris, fish
When Chuck Norris opens a bottle of coke happiness runs away screaming.
Vote: has 49.51 % from 14 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: Chuck Norris, food
Chuck Norris is the only person who can write history of the future.
Vote: has 49.51 % from 14 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: Chuck Norris, history
Chuck Norris... Chuck Norris... Chuck Norris... Okay, I've finished my morning prayers.
Vote: has 49.51 % from 14 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: Chuck Norris
If you Google search "Chuck Norris getting his ass kicked" you will generate zero results. It just doesn't happen.
Vote: has 49.30 % from 26 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: Chuck Norris