Chuck Norris discovered a new theory of relativity involving multiple universes in which Chuck Norris is even more badass than in this one. When it was discovered by Albert Einstein and made public, Chuck Norris roundhouse-kicked him in the face. We know Albert Einstein today as Stephen Hawking.
Chuck Norris can win a football game by spiking a tennis ball over a volleyball net.
Scientis cannot figure out where Atlantis is... Chuck Norris owns a villa there.
When Chuck Norris visits Europe on vacation, France surrenders.
Chuck Norris doesn't sleep with a teddy bear. He sleeps with a real bear.
Chuck Norris does not go fishing, the fish surrender.
When Chuck Norris opens a bottle of coke happiness runs away screaming.
Chuck Norris is the only person who can write history of the future.
Chuck Norris... Chuck Norris... Chuck Norris... Okay, I've finished my morning prayers.
If you Google search "Chuck Norris getting his ass kicked" you will generate zero results. It just doesn't happen.