The best Chuck Norris jokes

When observing a Chuck Norris roundhouse kick in slow motion one finds that Chuck Norris actually rapes his victim in the ass, smokes a cigarette with Dennis Leary, and then roundhouse kicks them in the face.
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Jack was nimble, Jack was quick, but even Jack couldn't avoid Chuck Norris' round house kick.
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Chuck Norris once kicked a horse in the chin. Its decendants are known today as Giraffes.
Vote: has 40.95 % from 7 votes. Send joke:

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Chuck Norris can alphabetize m&m's
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Chuck Norris, Mr T and Arnold Swieznigger died in a plane crash they got to heavens door way and god asked them what there business is. Arnold replied "I want to be your right hand man". Mr T said "I wanna be your left hand man". Chuck Norris said "get the fuck out of my chair".
Vote: has 39.94 % from 25 votes. Send joke:

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Chuck Norris doesn't actually write books. The words assemble themselves out of fear.
Vote: has 39.90 % from 9 votes. Send joke:

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If you say Chuck Norris' name in Mongolia, the people there will roundhouse kick you in his honor. Their kick will be followed by the REAL roundhouse delivered by none other than Norris himself.
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Chuck Norris can watch an episode of 60 Minutes in a half-hour.
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Chuck Norris only needs one bullet, because it should know to get back in the chamber.
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The cops pulled Chuck Norris over for going 55 miles per hour on the freeway. But since he wasn't in a car, they had to give him a ticket for jaywalking.
Vote: has 39.78 % from 23 votes. Send joke:

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