Chuck Norris can have his cake and eat yours too.
God created universe, Chuck Norris created God.
Chuck Norris does not eat. Food understands that the only safe haven from Chuck Norris' fists is inside his own body.
When Chuck Norris was 3 years old , he was bored And decided to carve a sculpture with only his Baby toe nail , this sculpture is now called.... Mount Rushmore.
Pluto is actually an orbiting group of British soldiers from the American Revolution who entered space after the Chuck gave them a roundhouse kick to the face.
Chuck Norris's urine was the main ingredient for balco's designer steroids. Therefore, Chuck Norris is actually the all-time single-season home run king.
When Chuck Norris says "Jump", you don't say, "How high?" - you say, "When do I come down?"
One man said he got his butt whooped by Chuck Norris twice but he lied, because everyone knows you couldn't survive it once.
Chuck Norris makes his own Girl Scout cookies using real Girl Scouts.
Chuck Norris doesn't need a particle accelerator to collide atoms, he just smashes his fists together.