One man said he got his butt whooped by Chuck Norris twice but he lied, because everyone knows you couldn't survive it once.
Chuck Norris never needs help, help needs Chuck Norris.
Chuck Norris makes his own Girl Scout cookies using real Girl Scouts.
This Christmas, Santa is sending a message to the naughty children to stop being bad. He stuffing their stocking with Chuck Norris!
Chuck Norris doesn't need a particle accelerator to collide atoms, he just smashes his fists together.
Those who ignore history, are doomed by Chuck Norris.
Chuck Norris invented his own brand of media disc. The Black and Blueray.
Chuch Norris stood next to a bear and was told he had to leave because the bear was scared.
Lightening is too slow to strike Chuck Norris.
The speed of light was instituted because Chuck Norris didn't want get winded outrunning it. Chuck Norris hates to sweat.