One man said he got his butt whooped by Chuck Norris twice but he lied, because everyone knows you couldn't survive it once.
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Chuck Norris never needs help, help needs Chuck Norris.
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Chuck Norris makes his own Girl Scout cookies using real Girl Scouts.
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This Christmas, Santa is sending a message to the naughty children to stop being bad.
He stuffing their stocking with Chuck Norris!
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Chuck Norris doesn't need a particle accelerator to collide atoms, he just smashes his fists together.
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Those who ignore history, are doomed by Chuck Norris.
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Chuck Norris invented his own brand of media disc.
The Black and Blueray.
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Chuch Norris stood next to a bear and was told he had to leave because the bear was scared.
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Lightening is too slow to strike Chuck Norris.
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The speed of light was instituted because Chuck Norris didn't want get winded outrunning it.
Chuck Norris hates to sweat.
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