My insurance policy says: "Does not cover acts of God, or Chuck Norris."
Chuck Norris doesn't have to do anything for a Klondike bar.
The last thing that you see before you die, is Chuck Norris.
Chuck Norris drew a triangle with four sides.
If you Google search "Chuck Norris getting his ass kicked" you will generate zero results. It just doesn't happen.
Chuck Norris was the fourth wise man, who gave baby Jesus the gift of beard, which he carried with him until he died. The other three wise men were enraged by the preference that Jesus showed to Chuck's gift, and arranged to have him written out of the bible. All three died soon after of mysterious roundhouse-kick related injuries.
Once Chuck Norris rubbed a magical lamp, nothing came out. The genie ain't stupid.
Chuck Norris does his grocery shopping at Home Depot.
Chuck Norris has counted to infinity. Twice.