Chuck Norris has counted to infinity. Twice.
Chuck Norris sold his soul to the devil for his rugged good looks and unparalleled martial arts ability. Shortly after the transaction was finalized, Chuck roundhouse-kicked the devil in the face and took his soul back. The devil, who appreciates irony, couldn't stay mad and admitted he should have seen it coming. They now play poker every second Wednesday of the month.
Contrary to popular belief, America is not a democracy, it is a Chucktatorship.
Chuck Norris discovered a new theory of relativity involving multiple universes in which Chuck Norris is even more badass than in this one. When it was discovered by Albert Einstein and made public, Chuck Norris roundhouse-kicked him in the face. We know Albert Einstein today as Stephen Hawking.
Chuck Norris can watch an episode of 60 Minutes in a half-hour.
Chuck Norris can win a football game by spiking a tennis ball over a volleyball net.
Chuck Norris got added by facebook itself.
When Chuck Norris visits Europe on vacation, France surrenders.
I had an idea once, and a light bulb appeared over my head. Chuck Norris had an idea, and the sun was created.
Chuck norris farted in a ditch and the grand canyon was created.