The chief export of Chuck Norris is pain.
Chuck Norris has counted to infinity.
Twice.
If you ask Chuck Norris what time it is, he always says, "Two seconds 'till."
After you ask, "Two seconds 'til what?" he roundhouse kicks you in the face.
Pluto is actually an orbiting group of British soldiers from the American Revolution who entered space after the Chuck gave them a roundhouse kick to the face.
For some, the left testicle is larger than the right one.
For Chuck Norris, each testicle is larger than the other one.
On his birthday, Chuck Norris randomly selects one lucky child to be thrown into the sun.
Chuck Norris rejects your reality and substitutes it with his fist.
Chuck Norris used to be a soccer referee.
He lost the job after giving penalties to the players: Death Penalty.
Chuck Norris won the World Series of Poker using Pokemon cards.
Chuck Norris does not masturbate, because there is no greater pleasure than being Chuck Norris.