One man said he got his butt whooped by Chuck Norris twice but he lied, because everyone knows you couldn't survive it once.
Chuck Norris makes his own Girl Scout cookies using real Girl Scouts.
Chuck Norris doesn't need a particle accelerator to collide atoms, he just smashes his fists together.
Chuck Norris invented his own brand of media disc. The Black and Blueray.
Chuch Norris stood next to a bear and was told he had to leave because the bear was scared.
The speed of light was instituted because Chuck Norris didn't want get winded outrunning it. Chuck Norris hates to sweat.
Steve Austin had to be rebuilt as the Six Million Dollar Man after he looked Chuck Norris in the eye, shook his hand and then went weak at the knees.
Chuck Norris can get satellite cable from a Skoal can.
Chuck norris plays frisbee with his retinas.
Chuck Norris can follow you into a revolving door and come out ahead of you.