Chuck Norris once gave a cop a ticket for speeding.
Researchers once tried to measure Chuck Norris' IQ, but found that numbers don't count that high.
Chuck Norris can alphabetize m&m's
Chuck Norris doesn't use anti-virus. Viruses use anti-Chuck Norris.
The Earth does NOT revolve around the Sun. The Earth is stationary. The Sun follows Chuck Norris as he makes his daily jog around the Earth.
Chuck Norris doesn't need health care, everyone in his viewing range does.
Chuck Norris doesn't need a GPS: The World orients itself to where he wants to go.
Chuck Norris made an armless man tap out.
Evolution ended the day Chuck Norris was born.
Chuck Norris' sweat is used to disinfect operating rooms.