Chuck Norris does his grocery shopping at Home Depot.
Chuck Norris has counted to infinity. Twice.
Chuck Norris sold his soul to the devil for his rugged good looks and unparalleled martial arts ability. Shortly after the transaction was finalized, Chuck roundhouse-kicked the devil in the face and took his soul back. The devil, who appreciates irony, couldn't stay mad and admitted he should have seen it coming. They now play poker every second Wednesday of the month.
Contrary to popular belief, America is not a democracy, it is a Chucktatorship.
Chuck Norris discovered a new theory of relativity involving multiple universes in which Chuck Norris is even more badass than in this one. When it was discovered by Albert Einstein and made public, Chuck Norris roundhouse-kicked him in the face. We know Albert Einstein today as Stephen Hawking.
Chuck Norris once ate a whole cake before his friends could tell him there was a stripper in it.
Chuck Norris can watch an episode of 60 Minutes in a half-hour.
Chuck Norris got added by facebook itself.
World War II started because Burger King screwed up Chuck Norris' order. Today Burger King NEVER gives you onions unless you ask for them.
When Chuck Norris visits Europe on vacation, France surrenders.