Chuck Norris asked his script writer for more dialogue and the script writer said "Chuck you mean more grunting?"
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Chuck Norris does not need pressure cookers.
The food cooks itself out of pressure.
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Chuck Norris reached level 51 on Oblivion.
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Chuck Norris has only used the 'Total Gym' twice in his life.
When his eyes are open - and when they are closed.
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Chuck Norris does not eat.
Food understands that the only safe haven from Chuck Norris' fists is inside his own body.
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The speed of light was instituted because Chuck Norris didn't want get winded outrunning it.
Chuck Norris hates to sweat.
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Chuck Norris can get satellite cable from a Skoal can.
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Pluto is actually an orbiting group of British soldiers from the American Revolution who entered space after the Chuck gave them a roundhouse kick to the face.
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Chuck Norris's urine was the main ingredient for balco's designer steroids.
Therefore, Chuck Norris is actually the all-time single-season home run king.
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Reading Chuck Norris Facts is the same as learning history.
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