Chuck Norris can kill two stones with one bird.
Chuck Norris doesn’t wash his clothes, he disembowels them.
The Great Wall of China was originally created to keep Chuck Norris out. It failed miserably.
Chuck Norris had six kids, they were called SEAL TEAM 6.
You cannot escape the power of Chuck Norris.
Chuck Norris is who killed Kenny.
When observing a Chuck Norris roundhouse kick in slow motion one finds that Chuck Norris actually rapes his victim in the ass, smokes a cigarette with Dennis Leary, and then roundhouse kicks them in the face.
Chuck Norris once kicked a horse in the chin. Its decendants are known today as Giraffes.
Chuck Norris put humpty dumpty back together again, only to roundhouse kick him in the face. Later Chuck dined on scrambled eggs with all the king's horses and all the king's men. The king himself could not attend for unspecified reasons. Coincidentally, the autopsoy revealed the cause of death to be a roundhouse kick to the face. There is only one King.
Chuck Norris can watch an episode of 60 Minutes in a half-hour.