Steve Austin had to be rebuilt as the Six Million Dollar Man after he looked Chuck Norris in the eye, shook his hand and then went weak at the knees.
Chuck Norris can get satellite cable from a Skoal can.
Chuck norris plays frisbee with his retinas.
Chuck Norris can follow you into a revolving door and come out ahead of you.
Chuck Norris has the greatest Poker-Face of all time. He won the 1983 World Series of Poker, despite holding only a Joker, a Get out of Jail Free Monopoly card, a 2 of clubs, 7 of spades and a green #4 card from the game UNO.
It is convenient to be near a hospital when you are injured. It is also convenient to insult Chuck Norris while standing in an open grave.
Chuck Norris was banned from the Olympics because his mere presence is considered a performance-enhancing substance.
Chuck Norris does not need pressure cookers. The food cooks itself out of pressure.
Only Chuck Norris can dislike on Facebook.
Chuck Norris puts his pants on one leg at a time, just like the rest of us. The only difference is, then he kills people.