Chuck Norris discovered a new theory of relativity involving multiple universes in which Chuck Norris is even more badass than in this one. When it was discovered by Albert Einstein and made public, Chuck Norris roundhouse-kicked him in the face. We know Albert Einstein today as Stephen Hawking.
Chuck Norris can watch an episode of 60 Minutes in a half-hour.
World War II started because Burger King screwed up Chuck Norris' order. Today Burger King NEVER gives you onions unless you ask for them.
When Chuck Norris visits Europe on vacation, France surrenders.
Chuck Norris doesn't sleep with a teddy bear. He sleeps with a real bear.
Unicorns are extinct but Chuck Norris used all their horns as toothpicks.
Chuck Norris has only one friend on Facebook: Pain.
Chuck Norris already has Final Fantasy XXI.
Chuck Norris can divide by zero.
Chuck Norris found the stairway to heaven, but he prefers the elevator.