Joke #9859

Chuck Norris can beat everyone. Except for 1 person. Chuck Norris.

Chuck Norris walks into a bar, and as he enters, notices a horse and the end of the bar with a sign on it. Out of curiosity, he approaches the bartender and asks what the deal is with the horse at the end of the bar. The bartender tells him: "The sign says if you can make the horse laugh you'll win $50. Take note though that hundreds of people have tried and no-one has been able to do it." "Get out the money," says Chuck," I'll be right back." So he walks to the end of the bar, whispers something into the horse's ear, and within seconds the horse is laughing hysterically. "That's amazing," said the bartender. "Tell you what, if you can make him cry I'll double your winnings." "Get out the money," says Chuck," I'll be right back." So Chuck walked again over to the horse, came back to the bartender 2 minutes later, and the horse was balling and sobbing like a baby. "Well," replied Chuck Norris, "First I told him a had a bigger d*ck than he did. Then I showed him."

Chuck Norris doesn't have a Facebook, he has a Fistbook... No one's his friend.

If Chuck Norris fights with himself, it's a win-win situation.

What every sports player should say after winning? "First of all, I would like to thank Chuck Norris for not competing."

Q: Why is Chuck Norris still alive? A: Death remembers the feeling of the round-house kick.

Chuck Norris doesn't need a License to drive a car... The car needs a special license to be driven by Chuck Norris.

In the first Jurassic Park movie, the Tyrannosaurus Rex wasn't chasing the jeep. Chuck Norris was chasing the Tyrannosaurus and the jeep.

Chuck Norris wears sunglasses not to protect his eyes from the sun, but to protect the sun from Chuck Norris.

If you stare at the ameican flag long enough you'll see a 3D image of Chuck Norris.

Chuck Norris can see all 50 states from his house.