When Chuck Norris opens a bag of Doritos, it's fucking full!
Chuck Norris doesn't need photos, he takes mental pictures.
Chuck Norris counted to infinity - twice.
Chuck Norris is the reason terrorists hide in caves.
If you say Chuck Norris' name in Mongolia, the people there will roundhouse kick you in his honor. Their kick will be followed by the REAL roundhouse delivered by none other than Norris himself.
Chuck Norris doesn't actually write books, the words assemble themselves out of fear.
When Chuck Norris calls 1-900 numbers, he doesn’t get charged. He holds up the phone and money falls out.
Chuck Norris invented his own type of karate. It's called Chuck-Will-Kill.
Osama Bin Laden is hiding from Chuck Norris.
God wanted 10 days to build the world, Chuck Norris gave him 6.