Chuck Norris has the greatest Poker-Face of all time. He won the 1983 World Series of Poker, despite holding only a Joker, a Get out of Jail Free Monopoloy card, a 2 of clubs, 7 of spades and a green #4 card from the game UNO.
You know why Chuck Norris is always on top during sex? Because he never fucks up.
Chuck Norris and Jean-Claude Van Damme play tug a war with live annacondas.
Chuck Norris wanted more dialogue for his next movie. It was too short for release.
In fourth grade, a teacher edited Chuck Norris's essay. Big mistake. You don't edit Chuck Norris. Chuck Norris edits you... with his fist.
Chuck norris plays frisbee with his retinas.
Chuck Norris... Chuck Norris... Chuck Norris... Okay, I've finished my morning prayers.
The movie Unstoppable is based on Chuck Norris' morning jog.
When observing a Chuck Norris roundhouse kick in slow motion one finds that Chuck Norris actually rapes his victim in the ass, smokes a cigarette with Dennis Leary, and then roundhouse kicks them in the face.
Chuck Norris put humpty dumpty back together again, only to roundhouse kick him in the face. Later Chuck dined on scrambled eggs with all the king's horses and all the king's men. The king himself could not attend for unspecified reasons. Coincidentally, the autopsoy revealed the cause of death to be a roundhouse kick to the face. There is only one King.