Chuck Norris doesn't need photos, he takes mental pictures.
When Chuck Norris makes a burrito, its main ingredient is real toes.
Chuck Norris can't have children, because his dick wouldn't fit.
Chuck Norris counted to infinity - twice.
If you say Chuck Norris' name in Mongolia, the people there will roundhouse kick you in his honor. Their kick will be followed by the REAL roundhouse delivered by none other than Norris himself.
Chuck Norris doesn't actually write books, the words assemble themselves out of fear.
When Chuck Norris calls 1-900 numbers, he doesn’t get charged. He holds up the phone and money falls out.
Chuck Norris invented his own type of karate. It's called Chuck-Will-Kill.
God wanted 10 days to build the world, Chuck Norris gave him 6.
Chuck Norris doesn’t wash his clothes, he disembowels them.