Chuck Norris built Rome with a box of scraps.
There is no theory of evolution, just a list of creatures Chuck Norris allows to live.
Last year Chuck Norris won the prize for best float at the Carnival in Rio simply by walking in the parade wearing his cowboy hat.
Chuck Norris does not masturbate, because there is no greater pleasure than being Chuck Norris.
Bears only poop in the woods when Chuck Norris says its ok..
When Chuck Norris say it's hot, people sweat.
Jesus can walk on water, but Chuck Norris can walk on Jesus.
The square root of Chuck Norris is pain. Do not try to square Chuck Norris, the result is death.
Chuck Norris does not go fishing, the fish surrender.
The reason Chuck Norris has never been a doctor on House is because, he would find the diagnosis in one second. It'd always be Norris Anger Disease.