Chuck Norris can listen to 24 hours worth of music and not move a single muscle.
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Chuck Norris counted to infinity - three times.
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When Steven Seagal kills a ninja, he only takes its hide.
When Chuck Norris kills a ninja, he uses every part.
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Chuck Norris once ate three 72 oz. steaks in one hour.
He spent the first 45 minutes having sex with his waitress.
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God is one of Chuck Norris's creation.
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Jesus can walk on water, but Chuck Norris can walk on Jesus.
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Chuck Norris does infinit loops in 4 seconds.
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Chuck Norris does not masturbate, because there is no greater pleasure than being Chuck Norris.
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The square root of Chuck Norris is pain.
Do not try to square Chuck Norris, the result is death.
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Little known medical fact: Chuck Norris invented the Caesarean section when he roundhouse-kicked his way out of his monther's womb.
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