Chuck Norris can listen to 24 hours worth of music and not move a single muscle.
Chuck Norris counted to infinity - three times.
When Steven Seagal kills a ninja, he only takes its hide. When Chuck Norris kills a ninja, he uses every part.
Chuck Norris once ate three 72 oz. steaks in one hour. He spent the first 45 minutes having sex with his waitress.
God is one of Chuck Norris's creation.
Jesus can walk on water, but Chuck Norris can walk on Jesus.
Chuck Norris does infinit loops in 4 seconds.
Chuck Norris does not masturbate, because there is no greater pleasure than being Chuck Norris.
The square root of Chuck Norris is pain. Do not try to square Chuck Norris, the result is death.
Little known medical fact: Chuck Norris invented the Caesarean section when he roundhouse-kicked his way out of his monther's womb.