Chuck Norris checks under his bed for Fedor Emelianenko because he takes Fedor to the vet regularly.
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We'll want to preserve Chuck Norris for future generations, when he dies.
We won't be needing cryogenics cos Chuck's already frozen.
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Chuck Norris can win a football game by spiking a tennis ball over a volleyball net.
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Chuck Norris doesn't go on the Internet, he has every Internet site stored in his memory.
He refreshes webpages by blinking.
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Freddy Krueger sleeps with his mom every night because he is scared of Chuck Norris!
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Chuck Norris does not masturbate, because there is no greater pleasure than being Chuck Norris.
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Chuck Norris gave Black Ops a thumbs up and people at Microsoft a roundhouse kick in the face. Suck it Microsoft.
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For breakfast Chuck Norris enjoys toast and jellyfish.
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Chuck Norris was the fourth wise man, who gave baby Jesus the gift of beard, which he carried with him until he died.
The other three wise men were enraged by the preference that Jesus showed to Chuck's gift, and arranged to have him written out of the bible.
All three died soon after of mysterious roundhouse-kick related injuries.
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Chuck Norris actually went to Rome by all roads. At the same time.
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