Jesus can walk on water, but Chuck Norris can walk on Jesus.
Chuck Norris once rode a bull, and nine months later it had a calf.
Sharks watch Chuck Norris week.
Chuck Norris can listen to 24 hours worth of music and not move a single muscle.
Chuck Norris counted to infinity - three times.
Chuck Norris has a Roundhouse Kick button on his Facebook page, and when he deletes a friend they actually die.
When Steven Seagal kills a ninja, he only takes its hide. When Chuck Norris kills a ninja, he uses every part.
Chuck Norris fills a 1-Liter Bottle With 2 liters of water.
Chuck Norris once ate three 72 oz. steaks in one hour. He spent the first 45 minutes having sex with his waitress.