Chuck Norris can win a football game by spiking a tennis ball over a volleyball net.
Chuck Norris does not go fishing, the fish surrender.
The reason Chuck Norris has never been a doctor on House is because, he would find the diagnosis in one second. It'd always be Norris Anger Disease.
Chuck Norris traveled around the world in 60 milliseconds.
Chuck Norris doesn't need health care, everyone in his viewing range does.
Chuck Norris does not masturbate, because there is no greater pleasure than being Chuck Norris.
Chuck Norris can run so fast he can cause time travel.
Host migration is Chuck Norris pausing multiplayer.
In an attempt to end WWII, President Harry Truman had Chuck Norris parachuted into Hiroshima and Nagasaki. Sept. 2, 1945, the Japanese surrendered.
Chuck Norris checks under his bed for Fedor Emelianenko because he takes Fedor to the vet regularly.