Chuck Norris was the fourth wise man, who gave baby Jesus the gift of beard, which he carried with him until he died. The other three wise men were enraged by the preference that Jesus showed to Chuck's gift, and arranged to have him written out of the bible. All three died soon after of mysterious roundhouse-kick related injuries.
The reason Chuck Norris has never been a doctor on House is because, he would find the diagnosis in one second. It'd always be Norris Anger Disease.
Chuck Norris can find Osama Bin Laden!
Justin Bieber was inspired by Usher because of his music and dance, Usher was inspired by Michael Jackson The King of Pop, Michael Jackson was inspired by...Chuck Norris.
Chuck Norris doesn't go on the Internet, he has every Internet site stored in his memory. He refreshes webpages by blinking.
For breakfast Chuck Norris enjoys toast and jellyfish.
Chuck Norris doesn't drive a car he walks.
Chuck Norris checks under his bed for Fedor Emelianenko because he takes Fedor to the vet regularly.
Freddy Krueger sleeps with his mom every night because he is scared of Chuck Norris!
Host migration is Chuck Norris pausing multiplayer.