There is no theory of evolution, just a list of creatures Chuck Norris allows to live.
Chuck Norris can find Osama Bin Laden!
Chuck Norris once scored a field goal, using a hockey stick!
Justin Bieber was inspired by Usher because of his music and dance, Usher was inspired by Michael Jackson The King of Pop, Michael Jackson was inspired by...Chuck Norris.
Freddy Krueger sleeps with his mom every night because he is scared of Chuck Norris!
Chuck Norris checks under his bed for Fedor Emelianenko because he takes Fedor to the vet regularly.
The reason Chuck Norris has never been a doctor on House is because, he would find the diagnosis in one second. It'd always be Norris Anger Disease.
Chuck Norris doesn't go on the Internet, he has every Internet site stored in his memory. He refreshes webpages by blinking.
Chuck Norris doesn't drive a car he walks.
If Clint Eastwood told Chuck Norris to get off his lawn... Chuck would get the hell off his lawn!