If Chuck Norris ever opened a restaurant, the only thing on the menu would be knuckle sandwiches and eye of roundhouse steaks.
Chuck Norris can find Osama Bin Laden!
You know how they say if you die in your dream then you will die in real life? In reality, if you dream of death then Chuck Norris will find you and kill you.
If Chuck Norris ran for president, the competition would drop out, and he would get infinite terms.
Scientists have predicted the world will end in 2012, but that's just a guess when Chusk Norris' patience will run out.
Q: What do a bungee jump cord and a hooker have in common? A: If the rubber breaks you're screwed.
Contrary to popular belief, there is indeed enough Chuck Norris to go around.
Chuck Norris only mast*rbates to pictures of Chuck Norris.
Chuck Norris can't finish a "color by numbers" because his markers are filled with the blood of his victims. Unfortunately, all blood is dark red.