If Clint Eastwood told Chuck Norris to get off his lawn... Chuck would get the hell off his lawn!
Chuck Norris sheds his skin twice a year.
When Chuck Norris had a baby he was horny for the nurse and had a 70-inch long.
Chuck Norris killed Heath Ledger... nobody ruins the image of cowboys and lives.
If Chuck Norris ran for president, the competition would drop out, and he would get infinite terms.
Chuck Norris only mast*rbates to pictures of Chuck Norris.
You know how they say if you die in your dream then you will die in real life? In reality, if you dream of death then Chuck Norris will find you and kill you.
Q: What do a bungee jump cord and a hooker have in common? A: If the rubber breaks you're screwed.
Scientists have predicted the world will end in 2012, but that's just a guess when Chusk Norris' patience will run out.
Contrary to popular belief, there is indeed enough Chuck Norris to go around.