Chuck Norris only mast*rbates to pictures of Chuck Norris.
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Chuck Norris once wrestled a thirty foot snake, and then he realized he was just masturbating.
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Chuck Norris does not masturbate, because there is no greater pleasure than being Chuck Norris.
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Chuck Norris doesn't m*sturbate, he r*pes his hand.
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Chuck Norris does not masturbate, because there is no greater pleasure than being Chuck Norris.
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A son and the dad are walking around on the streets.
The dad stops the son and says, "Son, if you don't stop masturbating, you are going to go blind."
The son says, "Dad! I'm over here!"
You see, masturbation is so unpredictable.
I just go up and down.
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Q: What do a penis and a Rubik's Cubes have in common?
A: The more you play with it, the harder it gets.
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What do you call a masturbating cow?
Beef Stroke-n-off
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Chuck Norris once urinated in a semi truck's gas tank as a joke. That truck is now known as Optimus Prime.
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Chuck Norris once won a game of Space Invaders without shooting.
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