Chuck Norris only mast*rbates to pictures of Chuck Norris.
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Chuck Norris once wrestled a thirty foot snake, and then he realized he was just masturbating.
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Chuck Norris does not masturbate, because there is no greater pleasure than being Chuck Norris.
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Chuck Norris doesn't m*sturbate, he r*pes his hand.
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Chuck Norris does not masturbate, because there is no greater pleasure than being Chuck Norris.
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Having sex is like playing bridge.
If you don't have a good partner, you'd better have a good hand.
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A son and the dad are walking around on the streets.
The dad stops the son and says, "Son, if you don't stop masturbating, you are going to go blind."
The son says, "Dad! I'm over here!"
Outer space exists because it's afraid to be on the same planet with Chuck Norris.
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What do you call a truck full of dildos?
Toys for Twats.
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What do you call a masturbating cow?
Beef Stroke-n-off
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Q: What do tofu and a dildo have in common?
A: They are both meat substitutes.
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