Chuck Norris only mast*rbates to pictures of Chuck Norris.
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Chuck Norris once wrestled a thirty foot snake, and then he realized he was just masturbating.
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Chuck Norris does not masturbate, because there is no greater pleasure than being Chuck Norris.
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Chuck Norris doesn't m*sturbate, he r*pes his hand.
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Chuck Norris does not masturbate, because there is no greater pleasure than being Chuck Norris.
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Getting married is like buying a dishwasher.
You'll never have to do it by hand again.
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Chuck Norris cuts paper by sticking his fingers out in a V and moving them up and down.
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There is no use crying over split milk, unless it's Chuck Norris' milk.
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Chuck Norris once caught AIDS... but then he let it go.
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Q: What do tofu and a dildo have in common?
A: They are both meat substitutes.
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Dad: Hey son, if you keep masturbating your going to go blind.
Son: Dad im over here.
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