Joke #6269

Chuck Norris only mast*rbates to pictures of Chuck Norris.

Chuck Norris once wrestled a thirty foot snake, and then he realized he was just masturbating.

Chuck Norris does not masturbate, because there is no greater pleasure than being Chuck Norris.

Chuck Norris doesn't m*sturbate, he r*pes his hand.

Chuck Norris does not masturbate, because there is no greater pleasure than being Chuck Norris.

I hope the children will never find out why I say "oops..." so often when I vacuum their rooms.

Gay translation I want a commitment. I'm sick of masturbation. Haven't I seen you before? Nice ass. I need you. My hand is tired. You're the only man I've ever cared about. You are the only man who hasn't rejected me. I'm a Romantic. I'm poor. I really want to get to know you better. So I can tell my friends about it. It's just orange juice, try it. 3 more shots, and he'll have his legs around my head. He's kinda cute. I want to have sex with him till my dick turns blue! He's not my type. He won't sleep with me. I miss you so much I am so horny that my dog is starting to look good. I had a wonderful time last night. Who the hell are you? Do you love me? I've done something stupid and you might find out. Do you 'really' love me? I've done something stupid and you're going to find out. I'll give you a call. I'd rather have my nipples torn off by wild dogs than see you again. I've been thinking a lot. You're not as attractive as when I was drunk. I think we should just be friends. You're ugly. I've learned a lot from you. Next!!!!

Someone asked Chuck Norris to climb Mount Everest. After his 10th endeavor, he wrote a book. "Ten Different Ways to Climb Mount Everest"

"Mr. Ben, I am asking for your daughter's hand." "Why? I don't get it, don't you have a hand?" "I do sir, but I'm sick and tired with my own hand sir!"

How is a soyburger like a dildo? They're both substitutes for meat.

Chuck Norris had a knife thrown at him... the knife didn't impale him, he impaled the knife.