Chuck Norris only mast*rbates to pictures of Chuck Norris. 
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Chuck Norris once wrestled a thirty foot snake, and then he realized he was just masturbating.
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Chuck Norris does not masturbate, because there is no greater pleasure than being Chuck Norris.
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Chuck Norris doesn't m*sturbate, he r*pes his hand.
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Chuck Norris does not masturbate, because there is no greater pleasure than being Chuck Norris.
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What do you call a truck full of dildos?
Toys for Twats.
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My Prediction for the Mayweather Mcgregor fight.
It becomes a Handicap Match against Chuck Norris and Chuck Norris ends it with a single roundhouse kick before the bell stops ringing.
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If Chuck Norris were a cat he would have ten lives.
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You see, masturbation is so unpredictable.
I just go up and down.
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The creation of a perfect sphere became possible after Chuck Norris became enraged with a rubix cube and roundhouse kicked the corners off it.
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Chuck Norris once bench pressed an 18 wheeler.
With him inside it.
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