Q: What is the difference between your cock, and your bonus? A: Your wife will always blow your bonus!
I went to a pharmacy and asked for a black condom. Manager wondered and asked me, "why black sir?" "My friend's husband died; I want to console her," I said.
Q: What does a blonde put behind her ears to make her more attractive? A: Her ankles.
Q: What's long and hard and has cum in it? A: Cucumber, dirty people.
An old lady went to visit her dentist. When it was her turn she sat in the chair, lowered her underpants and raised her legs. The dentist said: "Excuse me; I 'm not a gynecologist." "I know," said the old lady "I want you to take my husband's teeth out."
Did you hear about the theft at the Viagra factory? The police are looking for some hardened criminals!
Q. Why doesn't Santa have any children? A. Because he only comes once a year, and when he does, it's down the chimney.
A nun gets on a bus thats empty except for the driver. She says "I'm going to die soon but I want to have sex before I die. Problem is I must remain a virgin so it has to be to ass. I can't commit adultery, so the man must be single.Can you fulfill my wish?" "Yes" says the bus driver and fulfills her wish. Feeling guilty he says "I'm sorry I lied, I'm married with 3 kids." "Thats ok" replied the nun "I lied too." "My name is Kevin and Im going to a fancy dress party."
Q: Why would a blonde wear green lipstick? A: Because red means Stop.
A Yankee from Chicago and a Texan were talking. The Yankee said, "sex is so easy where I'm from we just walk up and stick it in." The Texan said, "where I'm from we stick it in and walk up."