The best disgusting jokes

An old man and a young man work together in an office. The old man always has a jar of peanuts on his desk, and the young man really loves peanuts. One day, while the old man is away from his desk, the young man yields to temptation and scarfs down over half of the contents of the jar. When the old man returns, the young man feels guilty and confesses to his crime. "Don't worry, son. I never eat the peanuts anyway," the old man replies. "Since I lost my teeth, all I can do is gum chocolate off the M&M's."
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has 68.15 % from 63 votes. More jokes about: age, chocolate, disgusting, food, work
What's the definition of bravery? A man with diarrhea chancing a fart!
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has 68.08 % from 169 votes. More jokes about: disgusting, fart, health
There was a horny young lady named Lil, Who fucked dynamite sticks for a thrill. They found her vagina In North Carolina And bits of her tits in Brazil!
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has 68.01 % from 44 votes. More jokes about: disgusting
How many dead babies does it take to paint a wall red? Depends how hard you throw them.
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has 67.96 % from 536 votes. More jokes about: dead baby, disgusting
This morning as I was buttoning my shirt, a button fell off. After that, I picked up my briefcase, and the handle fell off. Then I went to open the door, and the doorknob fell off. I went to get into my car, and the door handle came off in my hand. Now I'm afraid to pee.
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has 67.89 % from 40 votes. More jokes about: disgusting
Q: Why was the condom flying through the air? A: It got pissed off.
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has 67.88 % from 20 votes. More jokes about: disgusting
I don't like the term "anal bleaching". I prefer "changing your ringtone."
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has 67.64 % from 28 votes. More jokes about: communication, disgusting
One day in the city a bus driver was making his usual stops. At the first stop a woman came to the front of the bus to get off. She turned to the bus driver and said, "I think I was just molested back there." The bus driver looked at her and said, "Not on my bus. You couldn't have been." So, he lets her off and drives on. He comes to the next stop and another woman comes to the front to get off. She, too, looks at the bus driver and says, "I think I was just molested back there." Now the bus driver thinks that something has to be wrong, to get two complaints like this in one day is just unheard of. He gets up out of his seat and goes to the back of the bus. To his surprise there is a bald guy crawling on the floor on his hands and knees. The bus driver says, "Sir, what are you doing?" The man looks at him and says, "I lost my toupee. I thought I found it twice, but I lost it again."
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has 67.50 % from 58 votes. More jokes about: disgusting, women
How did Captain Hook die? He wiped his bum with the wrong hand!
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has 67.39 % from 65 votes. More jokes about: death, disgusting, pirate
Q: What did the Lawyer say to the lesbian? A: One slip of the tongue and you will be in s**t!
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has 67.36 % from 357 votes. More jokes about: disgusting, lawyer, lesbian
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