The best disgusting jokes

Did you hear about the man who took Viagra and a laxative at the same time? He didn't know if he was coming or going.
Vote: has 68.56 % from 37 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: disgusting, viagra
Q: Why was the condom flying through the air? A: It got pissed off.
Vote: has 68.45 % from 16 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: disgusting
Two cannibals are eating dinner and one says, "I hate my mother-in-law." The other replies, "Well, just eat your noodles, then."
Vote: has 68.45 % from 16 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: disgusting, food, mother in law
Q: What do you get if you cross a bear with a toilet? A: Winnie the Pooh.
Vote: has 68.45 % from 16 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: animal, disgusting
A family brings their elderly mother to a nursing home. The nurses bathe her and set her in a chair at a window. After a while, she slowly starts to lean over sideways in her chair. Two attentive nurses immediately straighten her up. Again, she starts to tilt to the other side. The nurses rush back to put her upright. This goes on all morning. Later, the family arrives and asks, "Are they treating you all right?" "It's pretty nice," the old woman replies. "Except they won't let you fart."
Vote: has 67.88 % from 20 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: disgusting, family, fart, nurse, old people
A guy walks in the local whorehouse, says "I want the cheapest one you got, I don't have much money." The guy behind the counter says "How bout the $1.95 cent special?" The customer says "ok", and he paid, headed to the room. When he opened the door, he found this beautiful broad spread out, just waiting for him. He rips off his clothes and starts going to town on her. Suddenly, all this white stuff starts coming out of her mouth, nose, ears. He freaked, "omg she's sick." He ran to the desk and told the guy what was happe ning, and the guy says "hey Joe! The dead one's full again!"
Vote: has 67.88 % from 20 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: black humor, customer service, dirty, disgusting, money
Q: What did one gay sperm say to the other gay sperm? A: "How are we supposed to find an egg in all this sh*t?"
Vote: has 67.85 % from 55 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: disgusting, gay
After nine years of marriage, a butcher's wife is tired of her husband's morning flatulence. She warns him that he'll fart his guts out. One night, the wife decides to put pig scraps in his pants, so he will think that he actually farted his guts out and stop the flatulence. The next morning, the husband goes to the bathroom. Two long hours later, he comes out and says, "You were right about me farting my guts out. But with the grace of the dear Lord and these two fingers. I got them back in there!"
Vote: has 67.78 % from 36 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: disgusting, husband, marriage, wife
Q: What did the Lawyer say to the lesbian? A: One slip of the tongue and you will be in s**t!
Vote: has 67.74 % from 73 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: disgusting, lawyer, lesbian
Birdie, birdie in the sky Dropped some white stuff in my eye, I'm a big girl I won't cry, I'm just glad that cows don't fly.
Vote: has 67.69 % from 32 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: animal, bird, disgusting, poems