The best disgusting jokes

An old man and a young man work together in an office. The old man always has a jar of peanuts on his desk, and the young man really loves peanuts. One day, while the old man is away from his desk, the young man yields to temptation and scarfs down over half of the contents of the jar. When the old man returns, the young man feels guilty and confesses to his crime. "Don't worry, son. I never eat the peanuts anyway," the old man replies. "Since I lost my teeth, all I can do is gum chocolate off the M&M's."
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has 68.89 % from 57 votes. More jokes about: age, chocolate, disgusting, food, work
Q: How can you tell if a bank robber is gay? A: He ties up the safe and blows the guard.
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has 68.87 % from 87 votes. More jokes about: disgusting, gay
When I reached bus stop I saw a pretty blonde who was gazing me. First I supposed perhaps she loves me so I also watched her and twinkled her. Then I understood she has farted and is looking me in order whether I would feel or not.
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has 68.78 % from 180 votes. More jokes about: beauty, blonde, disgusting, fart, love
"Doctor, I have a problem..." "What’s your problem?" "I pee in my sleep, every night!" "Why?" "Oh, well... Every night, a little devil visits me in my sleep and asks me; “Did we pee today?”. "And, that’s it? The solution is so simple.. Listen to me! If the little devil comes again you’re gonna answer; 'Yeah, dude, I did!'" "And that will cut it off?" "Sure! Like a knife!" At night, the little devil showed up on the patient’s dream and whispered; "Did we pee today?" "Yeah, dude, I did!" said angry the guy. And little devil replied: "What about poop?"
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has 68.72 % from 68 votes. More jokes about: disgusting, doctor
Guy takes his wife to the Doctor... The Doc says, "Well, it's either Alzheimers disease or AIDS." "What do you mean?" The guy says, "You can't tell the difference?" "Yeah, the two look a lot alike in the early stages... Tell you what.. Drive her way out into the country, kick her out of the car, and if she finds her way back, don't fuck her."
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has 68.71 % from 112 votes. More jokes about: car, disgusting, doctor, wife
Little Johnny: "I've piss may I go out?" Teacher : "Piss is an impolite word instead you say I've number 1." Jimmy: "May I go out? I want to shit." Teacher: "Shit is also a bad word it is better to use number 2 instead." Ronald: "There is a wind in my belly give me please a number for it."
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has 68.66 % from 119 votes. More jokes about: communication, disgusting, kids, teacher, vulgar
Q: What do Michael Jackson and Santa have in common? A: After a night of visiting children, they both have empty sacks.
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has 68.56 % from 37 votes. More jokes about: disgusting
What is the sharpest thing in the world? A Fart. It goes through your pants and doesn't even leave a hole.
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has 68.56 % from 37 votes. More jokes about: disgusting
What do you call an incestuous nephew? An aunt-eater.
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has 68.45 % from 16 votes. More jokes about: disgusting
Jeremy and Kris walk down the street and see a dog licking himself. Jeremy says, "Man, I wish I could do that!" Kris replies, "I think you'd have to pet him first."
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has 68.45 % from 16 votes. More jokes about: disgusting
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