The best disgusting jokes

Q: What's the similarity between a woman and dog poop? A: The older they get, the easier they are to pick up.
Vote: has 61.89 % from 33 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: age, disgusting, women
Birdie, birdie in the sky Dropped some white stuff in my eye, I'm a big girl I won't cry, I'm just glad that cows don't fly.
Vote: has 61.50 % from 42 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: animal, bird, disgusting, poems
What's gross? Farting in the bathtub. What's grosser than that? Catching the bubbles with your teeth.
Vote: has 61.28 % from 16 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: disgusting, fart
A woman walks into her doctor's office and says, "Doctor, I need to lose weight fast." And the doctor says, "Instead of putting food in your mouth, try putting it up your butt." Two months later she comes in and says, "Doctor, it's a dream come true. I'm half the size I was." But the doctor notices that she is bouncing up and down up and down... and he asks, "But where did you get this twitch?" The woman replies, "I don't have a nervous twitch, I'm chewing bubble gum."
Vote: has 61.28 % from 16 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: disgusting, doctor, food, women
Q: How do you know when there is a snowman in your bed? A: You wake up wet!
Vote: has 61.28 % from 16 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: disgusting, winter
An elderly gentleman went to see his doctor and asked for a prescription of Viagra. The doctor said, “That’s no problem. How many do you want?” The man answered, “Just a few, maybe 4, but cut each one in 4 pieces.” The doctor said, “That won’t do you any good.” The elderly gentleman said, “That’s all right. I don’t need them for sex anymore as I am over 90 years old. I just want it to stick out far enough so I don’t pee on my shoes.”
Vote: has 61.25 % from 26 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: disgusting, doctor, old people, sex, viagra
Little Johnny walks into his parent's room one night to find them having sex. "Mom? What are you doing?" he asks his mom. "Making a cake" his mom replies. Later that week, Little Johnny walks asks his mom in the car "Were you and daddy making a cake on the couch" he asks. "Yeah. Why?" his mom asks, confused and worried. "Because I licked the icing off the couch! It was delicious!" he responded.
Vote: has 61.25 % from 26 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: communication, dirty, disgusting, little Johnny, sex
A married couple go to a restaurant. A blonde waitress takes their order and returns several minutes later, carrying a plate with only a plain hamburger bun on it. The man asks, "Where's the burger?" The waitress lifts her arm and pulls out a burger from her armpit. "I was keeping it warm," she replies. The wife says, "Please cancel my hot dog order."
Vote: has 61.01 % from 29 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: blonde, disgusting, dog, food, marriage
Q: What's grosser than gross? A: Two vampires fighting over a used tampon.
Vote: has 60.75 % from 35 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: disgusting
Q: What's the difference between erotic and kinky? A: Erotic is when you use a feather; kinky is when you use the whole chicken.
Vote: has 60.73 % from 56 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: disgusting


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