The best disgusting jokes

Two flies sit on a pile of poop. One fly passes gas. The other fly looks at him and says, "Hey do you mind? I'm eating here."
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has 59.89 % from 46 votes. More jokes about: animal, disgusting, food
1 woman and 9 men shipwreck on a deserted island. After one week, the woman, disgusted by the things she was doing, kills herself. After another week, the men, disgusted by the things they were doing, buried her. After another week, the men, more disgusted by the things they were doing, dug her up.
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has 59.83 % from 43 votes. More jokes about: death, disgusting, women
Take a squirt gun into the rest room stall next to someone and shoot little drops over the wall every couple of seconds while pretending to pee.
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has 59.75 % from 31 votes. More jokes about: April fools, disgusting
Five liters of bean soup for dinner – let´s spend the night with the gas mask!
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has 59.74 % from 34 votes. More jokes about: disgusting, fart, food
A man walks into a bar one day and asks the bartender if he knows a man named Two Guns Gonzales. The bartender says no but he tells him that the man in the back named No Guns knows him. So the guy walks to the back of the bar and asks the man if he knows a guy named Two Guns Gonzales. The man says, "Let me tell you a story... One day about a week ago, I was riding into town on my horse and this large man with two guns comes riding up to me and says, "Get off your horse." Well, Two Guns has two guns and No Guns has no guns, what could I do? I get off my horse. Then he says, "Now drop your pants." Well, Two Guns has two guns and No Guns has no guns, what could I do? I take off my pants. Then he says, "Now s**t." Well Two Guns has two guns and No Guns has no guns, what could I do? I s**t. Then he says, "Now eat it." Well Two Guns has two guns and No Guns has no guns, what could I do? I eat it. Now, Two Guns is laughing so hard, he drops his guns! I grab them! Now I say, "Drop your pants." Well Two Guns has no guns and No Guns has two guns, what could he do? He drops his pants. Then I say, "Now s**t." Well Two Guns has no guns and No Guns has two guns, what could he do? He s**ts. Then I say, "Now eat it." Well Two Guns has no guns and No Guns has two guns, what could he do? He eats it. So when you ask me if I know a man named Two Guns Gonzales, the answer is yes: I had lunch with him last week."
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has 59.12 % from 62 votes. More jokes about: animal, bar, bartender, disgusting
If there are two people in an elevator and one of them farts everybody knows who did it.
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has 59.09 % from 45 votes. More jokes about: disgusting, fart
An elderly gentleman went to see his doctor and asked for a prescription of Viagra. The doctor said, “That’s no problem. How many do you want?” The man answered, “Just a few, maybe 4, but cut each one in 4 pieces.” The doctor said, “That won’t do you any good.” The elderly gentleman said, “That’s all right. I don’t need them for sex anymore as I am over 90 years old. I just want it to stick out far enough so I don’t pee on my shoes.”
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has 58.87 % from 39 votes. More jokes about: disgusting, doctor, old people, sex, viagra
A woman walks into a restaurant and sits down. As she bends down to reach into her purse for her wallet, she farts loudly with the waiter right behind her. She sits abruptly back up, glares at the waiter and shouts “Stop that!” To which the waiter replies, “Sure, which way did it go?”
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has 58.77 % from 36 votes. More jokes about: disgusting
Q: What do parsley and pubic hair have in common? A: You push them both aside when you eat.
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has 58.75 % from 18 votes. More jokes about: disgusting
Do you know what would be sick? If you sat in Santa's lap and you felt him get a boner. Do you know what would be even worse? If he stood up and you were still sitting in his lap.
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has 58.75 % from 18 votes. More jokes about: disgusting
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