A family walks into a talent agency. It's a father, mother, son, daughter and dog. The father says to the talent agent, "We have a really amazing act. You should represent us." The agent says, "Sorry, I don't represent family acts. They're a little too cute." The mother says, "Sir, if you just see our act, we know you would want to represent us." The agent says, "OK. OK. I'll take a look."
This is a visual joke. Blow some cigarette smoke into a shoe, what do you have? A palestinian waiting for the bus.
What’s harder to do than nailing a baby to a tree? Nailing it to a dead puppy.
What is grosser than gross? When you're kissing Grandma and she slips you the tongue.
What is the definition of revenge? A baby with a dog in its mouth.
I love cats – they taste just like chicken.
What do you give Mikey for his 18th birthday? A 90 year old woman, because Mikey will eat anything.
LaShaunda had just given birth to a daughter and discussed possible names with her hospital roommate, LaQoowanga. LaShwanda mentioned a name she had heard in the doctor's office, "Vagina". When the hospital personnel asked her what name to put on the birth certificate, LaShaunda said "Vagina". "You can't name your baby that!" "Don't disrespect me! I be her mama. I can names her anything I want." When the hospital person tried to explained what the name meant, LaShaunda said, "No, No! that's a cootchie!"
When is the best time to bury that baby you killed? When it starts talking to you again.
This stupid bug is appearing on a blasted line which would blow up the toilet. Then they go like "Tom tom tom tom" then back to the toilet and stupidly disgusted by a recently married woman and erecting a man in a toilet.