The following conversation took place after a recently deceased Pakistani man knocked on the gates of Heaven for about 5 minutes. St. Peter: "What do you want? " Pakistani man: "I'm here for Jesus." St. Peter: "Jesus, your taxi's her!! "
Some American academics, discussing the Six Day War with an Israeli general, were eager to know how it had ended so quickly. The general told them, "We had a crack regiment at the most sensitive front. It was made entirely of lawyers and accountants. When the time came to charge - boy, did they know how to charge!"
Q: How do Columbians develop muscle? A: By pushing drugs.
An Englishman, a Scotsman, an Irishman, a Welshman, a Latvian, a Turk, a German, an Indian, several Americans (including a Hawaiian and an Alaskan), an Argentinean, a Dane, an Australian, a Slovak, an Egyptian, a Japanese, a Moroccan, a Frenchman, a New Zealander, a Spaniard, a Russian, a Guatemalan, a Colombian, a Pakistani, a Malaysian, a Croatian, a Uzbek, a Cypriot, a Pole, a Lithuanian, a Chinese, a Sri Lankan, a Lebanese, a Cayman Islander, a Ugandan, a Vietnamese, a Korean, a Uruguayan, a Czech, an Icelander, a Mexican, a Finn, a Honduran, a Panamanian, an Andorran, an Israeli, a Venezuelan, an Iranian, a Fijian, a Peruvian, an Estonian, a Syrian, a Brazilian, a Portuguese, a Liechtensteiner, a Mongolian, a Hungarian, a Canadian, a Moldovan, a Haitian, a Norfolk Islander, a Macedonian, a Bolivian, a Cook Islander, a Tajikistani, a Samoan, an Armenian, an Aruban, an Albanian, a Greenlander, a Micronesian, a Virgin Islander, a Georgian, a Bahaman, a Belarusian, a Cuban, a Tongan, a Cambodian, a Qatari, an Azerbaijani, a Romanian, a Chilean, a Jamaican, a Filipino, a Ukrainian, a Dutchman, a Ecuadorian, a Costa Rican, a Swede, a Bulgarian, a Serb, a Swiss, a Greek, a Belgian, a Singaporean, an Italian, a Norwegian and 2 Africans... Walk into a fine restaurant. "I'm sorry," says the maître d', after scrutinizing the group. "You can't come in here without a Thai."
Q: What's a terrorists favorite American football team? A: The New York Jets.
In school, we had to do a skit demonstrating key concepts of the English language. My skit on the "diphthong" clearly demonstrated that the string micro-bikini was not a wise choice.
Yo mama is so fake even China denied that they made her.
Q: What does Saddam want for Thanksgiving ? A: Turkey.
Q: Why do Soviet soldiers always miss? A: They have terrible Marxmanship.
Obama and his generals in the Pentagon discussed, and they could not agree on, what is the best time for the assault on Russia. Finally, they decide to ask the French: "When is it best to invade Russia?" The French answered: "We do not know, but certainly not in the winter, it would go wrong for sure." Therefore, it would probably be better to ask the Germans: "When is it best to invade Russia?" The Germans answer: "We do not know, but it certainly would not be in the summer. We have tried, already..." What to do? Someone proposes to ask China that is progressive and always comes up with a new idea. So they asked the Chinese, "When is the best time to invade Russia?" The Chinese replies: "Right now!" Russia began to build "The Strength of Siberia" pipeline, "Turkish stream", The Spaceport "Vostochny", The Bridge to the Crimea, and in the near future they will modernize the BAM, they are building new sports complexes for the World Cup in football and athletics, they are planning oil extraction in the Arctic... Right now they do need a lot of POW as work force.