You are so selfish! You're going to have that body the rest of your life and I just want it for one night.
If Santa comes down the chimney this year and tries to stuff you in his sack, don't worry, because I wished for you for Christmas.
Officer: "your eyes look red man have you been smoking weed." Suspect: "officer your eyes look glazed like you has had doughnuts."
Fuck me if I'm wrong, but isn't your name Laura?
Roses are red, violets are blue, sugar is sweet, but nothing compared to you.
Hi, I see that you're new to this gym, and I wanna be the first male to bother you.
A woman comes up to me and says, "Hey sexy you lost 185 lbs and now you have money." "You wanna be my sugar daddy?" "Nope I'm diabetic!"
Are you an elevator? Cause I wanna go down on you.
Your beauty is why God invented eyeballs, but your booty is why God invented my balls!
I wish this gym had a stationary bike built for two.