If a tree falls in the woods and no one is around to hear it, a hipster will buy it on vinyl.
Q: How much does a hipster weigh? A: An instagram
Q: How many hipsters does it take to flush a toilet? A: You can't touch that toilet, it's art.
Q: How many hipsters can you get into a phone booth? A: One, any more and it would be too mainstream.
Q: How do you drown a hipster? A: In the mainstream.
Q: Why did Hitler hate golf? A: Because he ended up in the bunker.
Hipsters hate rivers. Too mainstream.
Q: Why do hipsters love ice? A: Because ice was water before it was cool.
Q: Why did the hipster leave his oceanside mansion? A: It was too current.
Q: How many hipsters does it take to screw in a lightbulb? A: You wouldn't know, it's kind of an obscure number.