Q: How much does a hipster weigh?
A: An instagram
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Yo' Mama is so fat, when she walked past the TV, I missed a two-hour special of "Lost."
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Chuck Norris does not have to answer the phone.
His beard picks up the incoming electrical impulses and translates them into audible sound.
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Q: What's a hipster's favorite profession?
A: Mortician. All of his work is 6 feet underground.
Hipsters wear jackets in the summer, before it's cool.
I farted in a room of hipsters and I watched them fight each other over who heard it first.
Q: How many hipsters does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
A: One to screw it in and the other to wear skinny jeans.
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Q: Why did the hipster leave his oceanside mansion?
A: It was too current.
You know, I have Google+, Facebook, Twitter, Skype accounts...
Man, and do you have life?
OMG, No! Could you send me a link?
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Hipsters hate rivers.
Too mainstream.
I just saw a mexjcan guy walking down the street with a tv and I thought " wow, that looks just like mine."
But I knew mine was at home shining my shoes.
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