Q: How much does a hipster weigh?
A: An instagram
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Q: How many hipsters does it take to screw in a light bulb?
A: Dude, the light bulb was cooler before it changed.
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Q: You know what would make America great again?
A: If we kept the Mexicans and deported the hipsters.
I farted in a room of hipsters and I watched them fight each other over who heard it first.
"Why do you keep going back to that fishing website?"
"I can't help it, I'm hooked."
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What We Learn From the Movies:
It is always possible to park directly in front of any building you are visiting.
A detective can only solve a case once he has been suspended from duty.
If you start dancing in the street, everyone you bump into will know all the steps.
Most laptops are powerful enough to override the communication systems of any invading alien civilization.
It does not matter if you are heavily outnumbered in a fight involving martial arts, your enemies will wait patiently to attack you one by one, dancing around in a threatening manner until you have knocked out their predecessors.
After a person suffers a massive blow to the head, they will still be surprisingly good looking.
No one involved in a car chase, hijacking, explosion, volcanic eruption or alien invasion will ever go into shock.
Partnering police officers with their total opposites will always, eventually, lead to buddy teams who share unbreakable bonds and gruff affection.
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"Siri, why am I still single?"
Siri activates front camera.
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Why use Linux: No Windows, no Gates, no Bill to pay.
Q: Why did the hipster leave his oceanside mansion?
A: It was too current.
Q: How many hipsters does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
A: One to screw it in and the other to wear skinny jeans.
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